Had the morphology scan yesterday at 19 weeks 4 days. All is healthy.

When she went to check his heart I was a bit stressed. Then she goes "its not really in the ideal position" and for a second I thought she meant the baby's heart, but of course she meant the baby wasn't in the ideal position to check his heart.

My own heart skipped a few beats.

We got a couple of sheets of film of his little feet, his face, his willy, everything!

I went to the hospital this morning, have transferred to Liverpool, just down the road, so I can stay home longer. I vomited twice. I don't like hospitals, they make me feel very stressed. I wish I could have the baby at home.

Had my scan this morning and my due date has changed AGAIN. Far out.

So I am 17 weeks and 2 days along and have to go back for another scan in a couple of weeks. But I am using the same referral so I don't have to pay and I get to see my son twice.

Yes, that's right. MY SON!!

A wee boy. I am ECSTATIC. Over the moon, so unbelievably happy and relieved. I just KNEW it and wanted it so badly, even though I knew I shouldn't.

Now due on August 13th.

My boy.

Wednesday 8 March

Well, I didn't rebook my appointment so the original scan is still the one we are going to, which is tomorrow. Its very very exciting.

I haven't felt my baby move at all, and everybody else on the discussion board I go on seems to have felt something. It might be because my placenta is at the front. At the very first scan the lady said that I probably wouldn't feel anything till after other people do, because of this.

So, she said around 20 weeks would be when I would feel something and I am only 18 weeks now so I shouldn't panic.

Its so hard not to worry about things.

So tomorrow is the day we find out if the baby is healthy and what flavour it is. Wow.

Monday 27th February 2006

I worried all weekend, about everything I could think of. I can't wait for the next scan so I have brought it forward one week. The main reason is that my cousin Debbie found out that her baby Maia had severe heart deformities at the 20 week scan and she was induced and then it was all over in the a matter of days and there was no pregnancy, no baby, no nothing except a family left in despair.

So I have been thinking of this alot and praying that Steve and I are among the lucky ones and that our bubby will be completely normal, ordinary, average, like the millions of other babies born every year. But I have to know now. Not in one week...NOW.

I have been so tired, bone weary in fact. Can't stay awake. And thirsty. So thirsty. I drink about 4 litres a day. I need to get checked for gestational diabetes I think.

I am transferring, (well trying to transfer) to Liverpool hospital. They make it so bloody difficult though. Its much closer to Steve's house which means I can stay home longer while in labour.

Anyway, the next scan is on Wednesday morning now. If I am not 18 weeks then I will have to pay for the next one, but according to the hospital dates I am 18 weeks on 28th February.

24 February 2006

Well, I am now 17 weeks and 4 days along, apparently. There was a bit of a mix up with my due dates, they went all over the place from the end of July to the middle of August to the beginning of August.

Things are going well. The dreaded nausea has gone, finally YAY. I still don't have much of an appetite and find it hard to eat dinner at night so I try to have a good lunch, but even so, I can't manage much. I know its not good but I do try. I had only put on 200g at the midwife visit.

We find out the sex of the baby on 9th March. I am extremely excited. There is no wrong answer but since I am convinced that this is my son then it will make it easier if its a boy because I won't have to adjust my mindset. That said, I will be very happy to welcome my daughter into the world as well.

I am really looking forward to being a mum and getting to know this little person and helping them grow up to be a happy and successful adult. I am very mindful that I am raising this child for such a short time and I will do everything in my power to ensure we have a strong relationship when they are grown up too. I want them to always love me and know they can rely on me more than anybody else in the whole world. That is very important to me.

Anyway, I should post more often and then I wouldn't have to rave on so much.

We have had two scans already. Steve came along to the first one but not the second one which was the nuchal scan. Bubby was jumping all over the show at that one.

All looked good on the scans.