So, christmas is over for another year. We had a nice day. Sat outside on our new outdoor setting again and had roast chicken and lamb - nobody likes turkey and the ham went to waste last year so we don't even bother with that now.

I made a cheesecake. The base was the packet one because I thought it would be easier, but it was awful so I ended up making my own base and transferring the cheesecake part over on to it which was more time consuming that just making my own in the first place! I also made a pavlova, the first one I have ever made. I didn't read the instructions down to the part where it says 'leave in oven to cool', so I took it out of the oven and left it on the bench to cool. When I came back to it it had sunk! aww. But a bit of cream and some fruit and she was as right as rain. It got rave reviews but I gotta be honest, it wasn't the best pav I have ever tasted. I am looking forward to having another go.

Baden got spoilt rotten, of course. Callum didn't do too badly either, considering he has no idea of what is going on. I forgot to give him the only birthday present I bought him and ended up wrapping it in christmas paper and giving it to him for christmas! oops, sorry bubby. He loves it though. But his favourite christmas present is probably a little soft soccer ball that cost 50 cents at the Salvos. It was brand new still in the packet and was a dollar but they had a half price sale and we happened to call in that day. I love op shopping! He throws it then crawls round the room laughing and giggling. He throws pretty good for a one year old.

The inlaws have been staying and its been nice to have them here. Baden loves them and gets very hyped up from all the attention. Its wonderful to seem him in 'magic' mode, knowing he is storing memories of a happy childhood. He spent a lot of time in the pool yesterday, he got quite a few new pool toys. He is so well behaved when he is getting constant attention. He has been writing a lot on his new magna doodle writing tablet and is getting pretty good now.

I made a bag for my MIL with my new sewing skills. It took quite a bit longer than I anticipated because I forgot how picky I get when I am making something as a gift, so I had to get it as perfect as I could and it ended up taking two days, off and on, at the machine when I could get to it. Never doing that again!!

I ended up getting nothing from my husband. I have been saying for weeks "make sure you get me something". He kept saying he didn't know what to get me so I said "I don't mind what you get, just make sure you get me something to open on the day". Well, obviously that isn't the best idea I have ever had because I got absolutely nothing. After all the effort I put in shopping for the kids presents and for his present and for his PARENTS presents, and the wrapping, not to mention putting up the tree at the beginning of the month and burning a CD of christmas carols and getting up in the wee hours to put the presents from Santa under the tree. Not to MENTION the cooking of two roasts, peeling the spuds and cooking the veges and buying the grog. I don't think its too much to ask for a $5 bottle of shower gel or something is it? Just something to open when everyone else is sitting round enjoying the fruits of my labour?

Anyway, I won't start because I won't finish for a while, and he has been told and hopefully he will 'get' it. I really don't hold out much hope. I am going to make sure my boys are raised to show other people that they care about them and acknowledge special occasions.

Yes the big picture is important and the big picture is wonderful. My husband loves me, he works very hard for our little family and I love my life. But sometimes, just every now and then, the small picture becomes important too. Just for a day.

So, my sweet little baby is now a 1 year old. I can't believe how quickly time has flown. This past year has literally been the fastest year of my life.

We didn't have a big party for him. We have already had a big party here this year and I just didn't feel like it really. He wouldn't remember it anyway and it is so stressful planning a party for adults, because a 1 year old's birthday is for adults, we had a party for Baden's 1st birthday and I found it quite stressful and didn't enjoy it much. And I selfishly wanted the day to be about me and Callum, but mostly me, lol, reminiscing about his birth and what a wonderful day it was.

So I invited my 'unofficial mums group' over, we get together most weeks anyway, and we sat in the backyard and ate a few cakes and sausage rolls and yakked. I made a birthday cake and we sang Happy Birthday and I planted a lemon tree and buried Callum's placenta that has been sitting in my freezer for the past year - it was a bit weird seeing it again, with the cord and everything and the little clamp and everything, a bit eww but mostly fascinating, we were all a bit eww and a bit fascinated I think! I chose a lemon tree because I have always wanted a lemon tree, I am looking forward to walking outside and picking a lemon instead of saying "oh bugger, we have no lemons!" every time we have fish or chicken schnitzel! (it happens quite a bit round here!).

It was just the most perfect day, laidback and casual, beautiful weather and just what I wanted.

And then last night I had a bath with Callum, I wanted to finish his birthday with just me and him in the water, how we started off. And then we both slept right through the night. He often does but lately I have had terrible insomnia, but last night I had a great night's sleep for the first time in ages.

So, now we look forward to christmas. I have to go food shopping and find something to give the mother-in-law.

Here is my cute little baby in his new overalls!!! I am really proud of myself, I think I did a good job. And I really enjoyed it. I made the blue ones as well but I am putting snaps on those so I am waiting till I see my friend who has a snap machine.

I want to make him two more pairs. I have some pale blue material in the cupboard that would look cute with maybe red thread used for some seams that you can see, I am not sure what the word is, but you know on jeans and that when you can see the sewing, like on the bib of overalls from the shop? (Obviously there is a bit of lingo I need to learn, lol). But anyway, pale blue with red sewing-wot-you-can-see on them. And maybe red snaps or red buttons. And I have a cute little patch that I bought ages ago and have been waiting to find a use for.

Sewing is fun, but its quite difficult to do when you have kids. Especially my kids. Well, especially one of my kids in particular *Callum*. He is into everything. Everything. He is so cute though. His inquisitiveness led to him falling down the back steps a couple of days ago so he's taken a bit of bark off his face, but he's okay. Actually, you can see his war wound in the pic above.

I bought this today. Its a little overall pattern and some cutie-patootie material. I am going to take it to knitting group tomorrow so my ladies can help me pin it and cut it out, and then I am going to have a go at sewing. I want Callum to have some cute little cotton overalls for summer because its too hot for him to wear t-shirts and when he only wears a nappy his poor knees get scraped because its too hot for the little babyleg legwarmer things. So I will make these just below the knee for him. He's going to look so adorable!!!

I have never made anything like this before and I am not a very accomplished seamstress, but the lady at the shop said it was 'very easy'. So we will see.

In other news, Steve demolished the old concrete barbecue out the back, and now I am going to repaint the tiles. We paid over six hundred dollars for a guy to come and clean the pavers and seal them and they look exactly the same :( so now I want to have a go at painting them with paver paint. It should brighten them up a bit anyway, they just look a bit old and faded.

I have finished my christmas shopping now but I haven't taken the kids to get the obligatory Santa photo yet.

I got my hair cut as well. It's quite short now. I wanted it short but I didn't like the actual cut. I wasn't sure what it was but there was something not quite right with it, so I went to a different hairdresser today and she fixed it and now I like it. I have wanted my hair short for ages so I finally went and got it cut.

Meet Buttons the Bear. He has been staying at our house this week and then we put pictures in a book and write about what interesting and exciting adventures Buttons has been up to whilst staying at our house.


Eek. um...well, he went for a bike ride as you can see. And he went to the park, and of course he went to knitting group! That's about as exciting as it gets around here sorry Buttons, I hope you enjoyed your stay.

We put the christmas tree up today. I made the mistake of telling Baden we would put it up as soon as Dad got home from work. So I spent the day listening to the words "is Dad coming home soon" fifty billion times. But it's up now so Callum can start pulling the decorations off it at his leisure.

We don't have the lights outside up yet. We have one string of lights, we used to have two but one broke. Next door looks like the Grizwalds, they have more lights up than last year and last year they had a LOT. It takes all my energy to get Steve to help me put up our piddly little string of lights so I don't imagine we will be keeping up with the neigbours any time soon, lol.

I got my knitting mojo back long enough to finish this. Its called Milo. I don't love it, I don't hate it, the armholes came out too big even after I ripped it back once already and reknitted the whole body of it. He probably won't ever wear it apart from round home or over pyjamas. Typical that I finish it just as summer hits.


I have lost interest in knitting at the moment. It hurts my hands too much and there is nothing I have my eye on. My crocheting mojo has disappeared also. I made the shawl and then another little shrug thing in the same yarn, and now I have come to a screaming halt.




I feel like doing some sewing but there's nowhere in the house that I can do that without being constantly interrupted and there isn't a space that I can leave things and come back to them later. I want to make little patchwork animals and also have a go at making some summer tops. I am currently mulling over what I can do to resolve this situation so stay tuned.



Anyway, I have lost a bit more weight, I haven't weighed myself, (weighing day is Tuesday), but I can tell. I am feeling really positive and happy about this. It's exciting to know that the diet is working and its not particularly difficult to stick to. Some days I get a bit hungry and if I can't hold out I will use my 'breastfeeding allowance' which is 200 calories. I hardly ever do that though, I am usually pretty good.

We all jumped in the pool yesterday, it was lovely. Today is pissing down with rain, it couldn't be more different. Dunno what's going on with the weather around here.

Callum is 11 months old today. He is such a happy little baby, very sociable and adventurous, always flirting with random strangers, he just loves people. Baden was such a reserved little baby, also adorable of course, but its so different to have one that is so outgoing and confident. Baden is the same now, he's not shy but he takes a while to warm to people and after that he's a friendly little chatterbox.

Callum is climbing on everything and standing all the time, he climbs up the back steps on his own already which is a bit hair raising to watch but I know he can do it so I sometimes prefer not to watch, lol.

I weighed him the other week, he was 11 kilos so I am happy to announce that he is now "on the chart" after being above it since 4 months old. I knew he would slow down at some point and wait for the others to catch up. I remember Baden being 10 kilos for absolutely ages, I am sure he was 10 kilos on his 1st birthday and for months and months and months afterwards, he seemed to stall there for ages - that's why I remember it, so maybe Callum will do the same and stay here for a while.

Speaking of Baden, I thought he couldn't write his own name, but typically I just presumed this because he doesn't sit and draw much at home, he likes to be outside. So I decided to actually ask him to do it and sure enough, he definitely has the concept of it. I had no idea. I am sure that makes me a bad mother, but on the upside of that, I am also sure that makes his daycare an excellent one, ha ha ha ha ha. Its just that he isn't interested in doing that stuff at home and I am happy for him to be outside playing and discovering bugs and making up games, and the daycare sends all the artwork home in one go at the end of the term, so its hard to keep track. Anyway, its all good, so yah.

I am on the Lite n Easy, again. Just finished the first week, its going allright, nothing much to report, just the same old journey I have travelled often, from seventy something kilos down to sixty something kilos, same old same old saaaaaaame old.

Baaaaybeeees everywhere!!

My friend Paula just had her third wee boy, a waterbirth at home in NZ. She texted me this morning to say her labour had started so I spent the day thinking about her and wondering how it was all going. I was dying to ring her at around 4 o'clock but of course I wouldn't do that. I was just sitting there thinking it and the phone rang and it was her!

I still can't believe she had a homebirth. She reckons it was my idea! bullshit it was my idea! I still can't believe it.

So now I need to go shopping for something suitably gorgeous for this special little fellow who doesn't even have a name so far, just a tentative name but I will wait for confirmation.

I know Paula really had her heart set on a wee girl but she knew it was probably a boy so she's completely over the moon and very proud of herself and totally in love with her healthy little boy.

What a great day! What an exciting week!

Oh, and of course, what else happened today was that Prince William got engaged to Kate Middleton. Lovely. I remember when Prince William was born. Gawd I am old. And now he's getting married and he's not even a particularly young groom.

And of course I remember the Royal Wedding of his parents, I got up in the middle of the night to watch it.

I think Kate Middleton is gorgeous. I hope she doesn't get slammed too much. The british media are so awful and it can't be much fun being in the Royal Family. Rather you than me luv but good luck to them. She don't 'alf talk posh though. I had never heard her speak before today and for some reason the accent wasn't what I expected. Poor wee lamb, bless 'er.

The little 33 weeker made it to 34 weeks. She was born in the early hours of this morning.

She is the picture of health, even got a bit of fat on her legs from the looks of her. I can't wait to meet her!

I got this book out of the library using the interlibrary loan system, which is a fabulous fabulous invention and I use it a lot, thanks to Donna for introducing me to the wonder of it all. You can get any book out of any library, you just look it up and then you order it in and they ring you to tell you it's there. You don't even have to go into the library to order it, you just do it online. Costs four bucks so it's cheaper than a pattern on Ravelry.

We love the library. I remember when I was nannying in London, I had my little charges utterly convinced that the library was the coolest place on earth, I talked it up so much. I would get them settled into storytime and then go and sit on my bum on the internet, ha ha. I had them so brainwashed that they would choose the library over almost anything.

So I got this book and there are a couple of patterns that I am going to give a whirl. At knitting group there are two ladies who crochet, one is a stick in the mud British terminology crocheter though, and quite frankly I have stopped asking her for help because the patterns I have been using are american and she just stuffs me up, I am better off working it out on my own.

The other lady is crochet-bilingual, but she hasn't been there for the past couple of weeks, so I have been on my own, with my friend 'Youtube'. I have been doing okay, I have managed to make a prototype of the converse sneaker, it turned out too big but I was just trying to grasp the concept and I have done that now. And I made another little pair of shoes, one is bigger than the other and I can't figure out why, but I am improving all the time so it's all good.

In the book there is a cute little shrug type thing, more of a short sleeve cardigan I suppose, and there is a lovely shawl. I don't wear shawls but it's very cute and I want to have a go.

Will I ever knit again? I have no idea. I have no desire to pick up my knitting just yet, I am sure it will come back, my knitting mojo. Callum has grown out of the vest I was in the middle of making and its too hot for the little cardigan I have on the needles for him anyway.

I have to think about what I am making for the Easter Show anyway, because entries go in next month.

This morning I was in my bedroom crocheting and the kids were in the loungeroom in front of the electronic babysitter, watching cartoons. All of a sudden I got that feeling, you know the one that mothers get, the realisation that things have gone very quiet. So I went to investigate and Callum was covered in nappy rash powder from head to toe and more was being tipped on his head. He was sitting there grinning away.

Baden loves putting stuff on Callum's head. He put melted icecream on there one day and styled it into a mad professor look. It was very cute. Callum is very good natured about it, just sits there adoringly. Baden isn't malicious about it, he loves our baby and is very gentle but he is still a pesky big brother at the end of the day and we all know what they're like!! lol.

About time for a photo. Here is a little pair of shoes I have crocheted. These are going to a little poppet who was just born the other day. She is the third girl so I figure her mum might think red and mustard are just the ticket for a pair of shoes instead of pink pink and more pink. I don't know if her mum reads my blog or not, but anyway, they will be on their way as soon as I get off my bum and post them. They are teensy tiny but they fit the newborn plastic thingy that came with a pair of socks for bigfoot Callum so hopefully they will fit this little six pounder.

There are babies everywhere at the moment. Still waiting on the news of my friend in NZ.

I am going to make another pair of these shoes for another little girl who is currently still cooking and hopefully has a few weeks to go. We are grateful for every day that she stays inside because her brothers all came too early and had to go into special care. The pregnancy is currently 33 weeks along which is just fantastic because last time was just 31 weeks.

In other news, a lot of my friends are getting their 2006 born kids ready for big school next year. Its all around us at the moment. Baden missed the cut off, well actually I think his birthday is the cut off, so technically he could go, but he wouldn't even be four and a half so I wouldn't send him. I am quite glad that we have another year up our sleeve! He will be five years and five months old when he does go the year after next, and I am a lot more comfortable with that. He knows letters and numbers but he doesn't read or write yet or do any other fancy tricks but he makes friends easily and plays well with other kids so I think he will do well at school when the time comes. I doubt that my boy will ever set the world on fire academically, he has always been bang-on average for his age, but he's going to be tall and good looking and he comes from a good home so the world is his oyster, it really is. He's a lucky boy. I can't wait to see what he does. His mama will be pushing for him to get a trade, I know that much, but it really doesn't matter what my kids do as long as they don't waste the opportunities they are given. I just want them to be happy, but I don't want them to be happy if they are happy being useless lumps, ha ha ha! but I can't imagine raising useless lumps, its just not my thang.

Still crocheting like a mad thing. I have just found a pattern for converse sneakers, I don't think I will follow the pattern but I looked at the pictures and got the gist of it so I might give them a go for Callum. I have to be quick and get these cute bootie patterns on him before he starts walking. I don't know how long I have got...not that long by the determined look on his face. He stands all day, every chance he gets. And he dances, I shouldn't even say dances because the boy 'boogies', he's got rhythm man, his shoulders go side to side, its the funniest thing I have ever seen.

I bought a maryjane bootie pattern that I have been trying, its going well so far, just a practise one. I am going to make a pair for my friend's baby. It's her baby shower tomorrow so they won't be done in time for that but I have a bit of time up my sleeve hopefully, although she does usually go a bit early so we will see. I went shopping today for something for the baby, I thought I would end up with an explosion of pink and flowers and lace, but surprisingly I decided on something in yellow, it was too sweet to resist. Her baby shower is a high tea, I am looking forward to it, I love high tea!! This is her fourth baby and first girl. I think a baby shower is in order for each baby, if the mother and her friends are willing. I know some people think its an occasion for the first baby only but I love baby showers and think all babies are special and all pregnancies should be celebrated so I am always a willing attendee even if its the tenth baby I would happily go along, although I don't know anyone with ten babies, LOL, just sayin'

Another friend homebirthed a bouncing baby boy today, in the water, how wonderful. I am waiting on news of another friend who is homebirthing in New Zealand any day now, she doesn't know the sex of the baby but she is hoping for a wee girl, she has two little boys but she thinks this is another boy. I told her to make sure she catches her own baby (everyone should catch their own baby, it's my crusade in life) and told her to look into her baby's eyes and fall in love and then when she is ready she can lift the cord herself (midwives don't get their meddling hands in and clamp and cut it straight away in homebirth, generally) and find out the sex of the baby, in her own time. I don't know why midwives and doctors take it upon themselves to tell people what sex the baby is, its just something that has become part of the culture, not so much now that most people find out at the ultrasound, but in the days past they would announce the sex. I don't think that is their privilege at all!

So, one down one to go in the baby news. Babies everywhere at the moment!! squeee!

Still on the crocheting kick. Haven't picked up my knitting for ages, even though I am halfway through a little sheep cardigan for Callum.

I have made 53 squares so far, which is probably just over half way. I had to redo some because I did them at the start of the project and the workmanship was dodgy and if I am going to have a nice blanket then I don't want it to fall to bits.

In other news, Callum is in the Sunday paper this week. I sent this photo in to the babies section coz its my favourite. I sent Baden's photo in years ago too so they have both been in there now. I didn't know Callum was going to be in there this week so it was a nice surprise. I dug out Baden's one and showed him. I kept the whole paper actually, it was funny to look at what was news back then.

That's about it this week, not much has happened.

Here is what I have been doing, its been a bit of a crochet-athon around here lately. I have completely lost my knitting mojo, its all crochet crochet crochet. The top picture is the latest one of the granny squares I have done, there have been more since the photo was taken. The original ones had a white strip around the edge and then more black but the more I looked at them the less I liked the white part, so I ended up unpicking it all. I have started doing more multi-coloured ones now too. I am going to make a big blanket.

The bottom pictures are the new granny square I learnt to make at knitting group, wiv the liddle flower, so cute n'est-ce pas?

I used the video function on my iPhone to film my friend showing me how to do a treble. I am so glad I did because I had to refer to it a couple of times when I was flying solo. What a handy little function that is, I will be using that again. I already use Youtube a lot which is also really good.

The only thing I hate about crochet is that the americans and the UK have the same names for different stitches. It does my head in. I am still trying to figure it all out. So you have to learn new stitches but you have to be a bit bilingual as well, and then you have to figure out if its an american pattern or a UK pattern in the first place. Grrrr. Even the crochet-gurus at knitting group have trouble figuring it out sometimes.

I went for my x-rays and more blood tests. I haven't got the results yet, gotta go back in a couple of weeks, that's the first appointment available. When I went for the blood test the lady was asking me about my kids etc. Then at the end of the test she gives me a sticker and goes "this is a bravery sticker" and I said "Oh thanks" and she goes "its not for you, you're a sook, its to take home for your 4 year old".

Oh. Right.

She's right though, I am a sook. I hate needles. I can't look, I get lightheaded afterwards and I whinge the whole way through. I hope that's the end of the blood(y) tests.

Look at this wee poppet. No, I haven't gone crazy and decided to turn my boy into a girl after all, ha ha ha. Actually, I have gone off the whole girl idea just quietly, but anyhoo, more about that later, maybe a year or so.

This is a little cardigan that I was in the mood to make so I did. It has already been dispatched off for the beautiful Miss Bella so I hope she likes it.

Callum looks good in pink. But with those lips you can't go wrong in any colour.

I am feeling a lot better now, all the germs have been given the heave-ho so I am back to the default level of discomfort, lol, yay team.

The specialist appointment was allright, gotta go for more tests and some x-rays to see what damage has already been done to my poor old joints and then I will need to decide how urgent the treatment is. The drugs are quite strong and the rheumotologist says you can't take them while breastfeeding but she also said that breastmilk is of no benefit after the first three weeks so I am fairly dubious on her opinions and will be getting a second opinion.

I need someone who takes me seriously and can treat me while taking everything that is important into consideration. Its not a small decision, this weaning business. I breastfed Baden for three years (yeah I know, mental, but my point is that this shows that weaning at 10 months is going to be a bit of a big deal). So I need to be sure that its what needs to be done. I have talked to a few other people, including my friend who is a midwife and lactation consultant and they said that doctors always say that you can't breastfeed while taking medications, but that's more about arse covering than about breastmilk. So anyway, we'll see. There is a website that you can look up and see what is safe to take and it looks like it should be manageable, with some pumping and dumping and some juggling things around with the treatment then I might be able to reduce this episode to get some relief without having to wean completely and of course without Callum getting any of the drugs.

That is of course if numbnuts would take a bottle. Which he won't. Back to square one. Stayed tuned.

And in other news, I have been doing a bit of crochet during the week. I should be finished the project by the end of the week so I will show you then. That sounds impressive till I fess up that I started the bloody thing in 2006. Oh well!

I can't seem to catch a break healthwise. First Callum got a cold and gave it to me, then he seemed to catch another one straight away and gave it to me. Now I have some kind of flu thing, chills, muscle aches, sweats, the whole bit.

So I have been in bed for the past couple of days, not even knitting. You always know when I am feeling really crook because I can't knit!! Steve has taken a couple of days off, thank goodness. I don't know what I would have done without him. All I want to do is sleeeeeeep.

Anyway, specialist appointment on Monday to discuss this arthritis bizzo.

Okay, so did you hear the one about the little old lady with rheumatoid arthritis?

That would be...me.

I knew something was up, there is no way you can be in so much pain without it being something. So I went to the doc and got my tests done and he rang me two days later and asked me to come in (which is a bit scarey in itself even though I knew I wasn't dying it's still a bit nervewracking). And the results had come back and he has diagnosed rheumatoid arthritis, which is what I was thinking anyway so it wasn't a big shock.

So now I have to go to a specialist and get some drugs and advice on how to manage it.

Its a bit confronting to have something like this, but apparently its not uncommon in women in their 30's and 40's and sometimes pregnancy can make it flare up. So I tick all the boxes on that.

To be honest I am kinda relieved to know what it is so I can finally get some relief from it. It has been really pissing me off.

I had arthritis in my toe a few years ago but that was the other kind of arthritis and that hasn't bothered me since.

Flippin heck. I am getting old. For some reason I thought I wouldn't!

Where have I been?

In bed, mostly. Callum has been too, he has had a bit of a bad cold. I have been battling mastitis and winning, I have managed to keep it on the very verge of it but it has still knocked me round a bit. Its the first time I have been this close to having it and I am not out of the woods yet but feeling a lot better.

When I feel better I am going to the doctor anyway, or maybe the naturopath. I am always feeling poorly, I never feel quite right. Since my pregnancy with Baden I have had joint pain and the second time round it was worse and its still there nine months on. I am sick of it. And my immunity is shite, I get so run over by little colds and things. Steve hardly ever gets sick, Baden hardly ever gets sick but he does bring little colds home from daycare sometimes, he shakes them off in a matter of days and I get them and feel like I have been run over by a bus. I am over it. I want to know what is wrong with my joints and how to fix it.

So, not much news here really. My application for uni is in. I had to put my work experience on it but they only wanted to know about the jobs that went for more than a year and that I had written documentation of my employment on company letterhead. Does anyone even do that anymore? All my references are verbal now, they phone them, I don't even ask for a written reference, haven't had one for over ten years. And apart from that, I did contract work for so long and the longest one was about eight months, so I didn't have anything to put under employment experience, so it looks like I have done nothing. Oh well, we will see what happens I suppose.

Still dunno how I am going to pay for it anyway, lol!!

Just quickly, my friend had her baby, a bouncing boy, 9 pounds 13 ounces and a relatively short labour for a first timer.

This has come after a long journey with IVF and a few heartbreaks along the way including a miscarriage just before I had Callum.

This little baby was implanted into my friend's womb when Callum was one day old. She came round for a visit and baby cuddles and then went off to her appointment.

Dreams really do come true sometimes. Welcome to the world little fella.

I am on a bit of a longies kick at the moment, I have finished this pair and have another three on the needles. I am waiting on another ball of wool for one of those, and the other two are being done at the same time.

I use cloth nappies at home in summer. I only use them in summer because its easy and cute to see a little cloth covered bum. In winter I can't be bothered, too many layers! So these longies go over the top, I have to lanolise them, which I haven't done yet.

I have bought all the wool for Steve's jumper but I haven't thought about it past that. Yesterday I was wearing my purple cardigan, Baden was wearing his teddy jumper and Callum was wearing his Five Fruits jumper and these longies, so poor old Steve was the only one without a handknit.

For Fathers Day we went to the local Show and had an absolute ball. Steve took Baden up on the Ferris Wheel. It was strange watching my baby up in the air so high, even though its only a Ferris Wheel I still worry. I worry all the time, about lots of different things. That's motherhood for ya I suppose. For some reason I thought having two children would halve the worry, wtf was I thinking? Of course it doesn't halve it, it doubles it, what WAS I thinking, honestly?

Still no news on the baby front, from my friends. Waiting waiting waiting. After that I have to wait till November for the next one.

I think I am going to have another crack at Uni. There is one up the road and I feel like I should be doing 'something' while I am out of the workforce. I am not ready to go back to work yet (and incidentally, the bottle thing?...yep, still a no-go) so I want to do something useful so when I do go back to work I can get an interesting job that pays well rather than a 'mum returning to work' type job.

This will be my third go at getting a degree. I do have some units already, which can be credited, so that's good. I first decided to try uni when I was 21, then I had another go just before I got pregnant with Baden, and now, here I am, ready to go again.

I will have to do night classes, which will be good for avoiding the young kids anyway, not my young kids I mean the ones at uni, LOL.

That's the only news I have at the moment. Apart from that I am currently awaiting the birth of a baby who is going to live around the corner from me. My friend is 38 weeks at the moment so it will be any day now, literally any day. Of course, it could be a couple of weeks yet, as far as I know she won't be induced just for going over her due date, so we could be another month yet!!

But I am thinking maybe in the next few days or this weekend.

Here is the latest jumper off the needles. It's a little grey kimono. I have made a few of these now, I think the first one was according to the pattern and the rest have just been made up as I go along. Its a very easy pattern, basically a square at the back and then the two fronts have some decreases from the chest up, two sleeves and sew it all together, add a couple of ties and a bit of garter stitch edging and Bob's yer uncle.

Modelled by my gorgeous little bloke who is growing at the speed of light. He has three teeth now, two came through on the bottom next to the one he was born with, which is a bit strange, but anyhoo. Looks very cute. He really is the sweetest, most beautiful baby I have ever seen, yes I know I have another baby but he's four now and I can't remember him being quite so beautiful although I am sure he was. Maybe its the oxytocin talking, lol, but Callum is just the joy of my life and I am so glad I had him. He is the happiest little fellow, he smiles at everyone, when I am standing in the line at the shops I often hear people behind me laughing and talking to him because he just flashes that grin to all and sundry.

Speaking of teeth, I got a rather nasty quote from the dentist the other day for work that can't be avoided so I am not very happy about that. We are talking thousands and thousands, not just thousands. I asked Steve if he wanted to rethink the idea of having another baby so I can go back to work quicker but he is quite happy with the idea of three. Turns out he was quite keen on the idea all along but thought I only wanted one kid so when he got two he decided to count his blessings and leave it at that. I thought he went along with the idea very easily when I suggested the third child, now I know why!

Just some random pics from the party preparations. My home-made pinata, skull shaped biscuits, some of the jellies, of course the pirate ship cake which nobody seemed to realise was just a square brown blob (got away with that one!) some of the decorations, and of course my gorgeous big 4 year old in his pirate outfit.

The waistcoat is a size one, he wore it at our wedding when he was nearly 2, I put some gold braid on it and I handsewed the little stripey shirt underneath (gawd bring on that dressmaking course!!!!). I thought he looked pretty cute. He's such a skinny little thing, he's so tall but he's lean, I think he weighs about 17 kilos. Callum is going to overtake him for sure. Two completely different body types.

I have decided to knit my husband a jumper. I am currently looking for a nice pattern but not having much luck. I might have to design my own. I think I will use Bendigo Luxury 10ply. Its nice and thick and quite cheap and its soft against the skin.

I have also decided to go back to TAFE next year. I can hear you groaning from here, but hear me out, I am going to do my Diploma of Marketing. I have the certificate and I have already done marketing at uni but I don't want to go to uni, I don't like it, I would rather just go to TAFE.

I am not going to day classes because its full of young kids and its so boring and lame. I went to the night classes ages ago and loved it. The course I did last year was a day course full of young kids and I hated it.

And I have also decided to do a dressmaking course at the community college. Its run over three weekends.
I have been feeling a bit bored lately, just feeling like learning something new, doing something different. So that's my plan.

Well, the party was wonderful. The weather cooperated despite giving me a bit of angst in the morning when it briefly clouded over, but by the time the kids arrived it was clear and sunny.

They had a ball. And surprisingly, so did I. I was VERY busy the whole time, I have no idea where Callum was for the whole party, I think someone briefly came up and asked me if he had a hat, I don't know what my answer was or what happened after that but he's not sunburnt so I guess that got sorted. And then a while later when it started to cool down I noticed that he was wearing different clothes, lol, so someone must have navigated their way to his wardrobe, I think it might have been my cousin. Mostly it was a blur of being surrounded by extremely cute miniature pirates. All the kids dressed up and they just looked SO adorable.

I found a plank for the kids to walk, it took me ages to find one and then it miraculously turned up in my neighbours roadside garbage collection, perfect size and length, so I made a sign that said "walk the plank" and set it up and then five minutes before the party started I was running around doing the final touches and absentmindedly walked the plank myself and it broke in two. ha ha ha ha ha!!! I couldn't believe I had done it, it was only for a 20kg kid not a *mumble* kilo suburban housewife with a fat arse. so that had to be propped up with a brick but they still got to walk it so its all good.

The food got eaten. The treasure hunt went well, Baden had a good time although I am not sure where he was for most of it, I was surrounded by pirates and he just blended in, lol.

I am really glad that we did it. There were 27 kids, I know this from the invitation list not from counting heads because they weren't all standing still long enough to count them and of course I forgot to get a group photo despite the fact that I was determined to remember this
:(

I would put photos up but I don't really want to put photos up of other people's children without their permission so I might put up some others of the food and decorations in the next day or so.

I haven't written for a while, I have been up to my armpits in Pirate Paraphenalia. The party is this weekend. The forecast is for rain but hopefully not too much since this is an outside party.

All of Baden's friends from school have rsvp'd so far, so that's cool. And a couple of my cousins kids are coming and the kids from next door and a couple from the end of the street.

I still don't quite know what I am doing regarding the cake, eek.

Everything else is under control. I am looking forward to it. I want it to be special for Baden. I hope he has a wonderful day and remembers it.

There is a pinata, if I can be bothered finishing it. I made it myself. And I want to do a treasure hunt. And the rest of the time they can eat and run around and trash the joint. I hope they all have fun.

And I hope it doesn't rain.

Callum

Here we go, my little Callum clapping his hands, what a cutie. He just started doing this yesterday and turned a bit OCD, wouldn't stop doing it all day and half the night, even while he was breastfeeding, it was nice to receive the applause, LOL!

Its Baden's birthday coming up at the end of this month. He will be 4. So I have told him that he can have a birthday party this year and the theme we have chosen is "Pirates".

So we have sent out the invitations and now I need to figure out what is involved in a child's birthday party. He has been to a few but I never took much notice and I certainly can't remember what they involved from my own childhood memories.

Apparently its all different these days and if you don't have a clown and a jumping castle then it just won't cut it, well that's a damn shame because there won't be a clown or a jumping castle. I do hope I am not going to scar my childs psychological development for life!

I was thinking more along the lines of cupcakes, (Baden LOVES cupcakes, with little pirate flags in them - thank you Ebay), and of course I will have to figure out how to make a pirate ship birthday cake. Hopefully it won't be too wonky, and then we have cheerios or whatever the heck Australians call them, those little red saveloy things anyway, you dip them in sauce you know the things, and sausage rolls and um, party pies, and fairy bread (yuck! but its not for me so s'allright).

And there's Pass the Parcel and a pinata and ...I dunno, we'll figure it out.

Anyway, in other news I am knitting a cardigan made with some beautiful handspun that was given to me by my friend Zel who bought herself a spinning wheel. Its very very beautiful and as soon as I got it I starting thinking of what would do it justice. I ended up ordering some matching yarn from Bendigo Woollen Mills, it wasn't the right texture but it was the right colour. Then I went to Spotlight to buy 'pirate related merchandise' and ducked upstairs to the yarn (of course) and lo and behold there was some Patons Helix in the exact shade with the perfect texture. I walk around the corner in the shop and see the sign that tells me that its also ON SALE!! ah, its the little things.

So I have done the yoke, I am copying an idea of a pattern but not following the pattern, just the concept. So we'll see how we go.

And in other news again, Callum has another tooth, popped through the other day. So that makes a grand total of two!

Well, homebirth has been in the news alot this week. Mainly for the purpose of getting slammed by people who don't understand what homebirth actually means.

Its not a case of staying at home crossing your fingers that nothing goes wrong and if it does go wrong just waiting till a dead baby comes out. But it seems that some people think this is the case. Why would anyone do that?

Homebirth is starting your labour at home and then instead of jumping in the car to continue the labour at the hospital, you continue the labour at home. If there are no complications you stay there until the baby is born, same as you would in the birth suite in hospital. Planned homebirth, (as opposed to 'whoops the baby came too quick and was born on the bathroom floor') is attended by a trained professional midwife who is paid for her services, has full qualifications as a midwife and often also works at the hospital delivering babies. In some cases (including my own) there are two midwives in attendance from the start to the finish and then they visit postnatally for a few weeks afterward.

So, once you go into labour, you call your midwife and she calls the backup midwife and they come to your house. In my case it was four o'clock in the morning. These midwives have seen you throughout your whole pregnancy, for every visit, they have made every note on your card, they know your history, they know your birth plan, they know your family and have a thorough knowledge of your pregnancy. This is unlike hospital where you get the midwife who happens to be on shift and she stays for the duration of her shift and then you get the next one, and so on. These are usually different midwives than those you have seen throughout the pregnancy. Some people are lucky enough to get a caseload program where they are assigned a midwife, but sadly, this is the exception rather than the rule in Australia at the moment. For my pregnancy with Baden I saw over ten different midwives during the pregnancy, plus a GP because I did GP Shared Care and then I had three different midwives during the labour.

Homebirth includes a 'plan to transfer'. This is in the case of complications that mean the labour is not safe to continue without obstetric intervention. Same as in hospital, if there are complications requiring a transfer to theatre for a caesarean then that's what you do.

In HOSPITAL a midwife will spot the deviation from normal and arrange the transfer to theatre where the obstetrician will take over.

At HOME a midwife will spot the deviation from normal and arrange the transfer to theatre where the obstetrician will take over.

In hospital this usually requires that the obstetrician on shift comes in to confirm, or in some cases the obstetrician is called in from home. In homebirth this call is made by the midwife, and then the transfer is made straight to hospital.

A homebirth midwife is unlikely to get it wrong - she is trained in spotting the deviation from normal childbirth and she will have seen many many many normal childbirths in her career. So she knows what is normal, and what isn't. Occasionally a trip to hospital will be made for further monitoring, sometimes the birthing woman decides to transfer because she wants more pain relief, sometimes the complications mean she needs to stay in for an instrumental delivery, sometimes she will return home to continue the labour.

My homebirth included a plan to transfer. Of course! I trust my midwife, she knows me, she cares about me, I am paying her to take care of me. If she could see my labour wasn't progressing as it should then she would have told me, same as in hospital.

So, in the news this week, all over the telly and in the newspaper Dannii Minogue has been criticised for her decision to trial her labour at home. She used her back up plan because it was needed due to complications. This isn't "homebirth gone wrong". This is homebirth using the back up plan that is always in place. It was always a possibility, it would have been agreed upon and discussed. Transfers aren't necessarily 'an emergency dash', most consist of a drive to hospital, sometimes in the midwife's car, sometimes in your own car, or if there is heavy traffic, in an ambulance to be able to get there in good time. There is no more "drama" than there would be at the hospital.

Once the call is made in hospital for a caesarean then this is discussed, forms are signed and then there is the transfer to theatre. Many emergency caesareans that really are an emergency are caused by an induction that has gone haywire. Induction doesn't happen in a home trial of labour, it only happens in hospital trial of labour so in a homebirth that complication is eliminated completely.

A prominent obstetrician (I won't say his name) who has never attended a homebirth, openly hates midwives and is actively trying to prevent women being able to access homebirth. He has stated this during a recent review of maternity services. He is on the telly spouting figures about a baby being four times more likely to die in a planned homebirth. In the next TV interview that figure had jumped to seven times more likely. No one asked him where he got those figures so lets examine what he is actually saying and where he got the figures from.

Note he said "planned homebirth". So this includes births that were originally planned at home but ended up being in hospital BEFORE labour began. The PREGNANCY was transferred to hospital based care. The outcome of that is that the babies were four times more likely to die than other hospital births. But thats the crux of it isn't it? if your pregnancy is considered risky before the labour even starts, then you are considered a 'high risk pregnancy'. Homebirth is only recommended for 'low risk pregnancies'.

If your pregnancy turns high risk then your midwife will no longer recommend (or agree) that you have a trial of labour at home. Its off to hospital for you from the get-go, same as everybody else. Babies born from a high risk pregnancy might be four times more likely to die during birth buddy, but that's not what you are trying to get us all to believe are you??? Or is it seven times? make up your mind. These babies die in hospital, but because the original "plan" was to homebirth all those months ago at the start of the pregnancy then they are "planned homebirths". Ugh.

Incidentally when this 'switch of care' happens during pregnancy this is not the 'transfer rate' that this obstetrician is spouting about for transfer from homebirths. He is saying 50% of women transfer from homebirth to hospital. That particular figure is from one government funded homebirth program where half of the women who ask for a homebirth are 'risked out' of the possibility during their PREGNANCY. But he wants us to believe it means that half of all the homebirths being attempted at home are rushed to hospital during the labour. Not true. Sneaky. Lies. The government program will risk women out to many factors, gestational diabetes, strep B positive, over 40 weeks+10 days gestation, first time mothers, older mothers, mothers with a high body mass index. Most of these women would be perfectly fine and have a natural delivery anyway, but its their program and they run it how they want to.

And why is that when other countries who readily accept homebirth and have homebirth programs with every maternity  hospital show that outcomes of homebirth for low risk pregnancy (remember its not recommend for high risk pregnancy anyway) are the same as outcomes for hospital births? Countries such as the Netherlands (where a third of women birth at home) and the UK, and NZ. The studies have been done using a proper sample size of ACTUAL homebirths. The facts are there in black and white. Homebirth for low risk woman attended by a trained midwife with a back up plan for transfer is completely safe.

A baby born by caesarean after an attempted vaginal birth that started in hospital isn't considered a "hospital birth gone wrong". So why say it after a trial of labour at home?

I am sure Dannii Minogue is disappointed that she didn't get the natural delivery she obviously wanted, that disappointment is completely normal and "allowed". Women who end up with caesareans after a labour that started in hospital feel this way too.

A healthy baby at the end of a labour  is never "wrong" and in this case its a 'homebirth using the back up plan' gone absolutely right.

Why do I care? Well, obviously I had a homebirth and I don't particularly enjoy people saying I am irresponsible, an idiot, selfish or saying that I care more about candles and music than I do about the safe birth of my baby.

Who, incidentally was born after a four hour labour, into the water and caught by me. Nobody rescued us, nobody put us in danger and then saved us from it, and yes it was lovely, and ecstatic and beautiful and I did have candles (but no music, just silence please) but most of all it was the SAFEST way for my baby to be born. No interference because none was needed.


Thank you.

The Shalom is a hit, I have worn it nearly every day. I love it, its so warm and snuggly and comfortable and it looks nice. So I have cast on for another, slightly different but the same concept. Pink.

I also cast on the Featherweight Cardigan using some cashmere wool that I got at Spotlight that I bought to make something else but for the life of me I couldn't get the tension stated on the ball band which was the tension I needed for the pattern. Sooooo, I have been wanting to make the Featherweight for a while now so I decided that now was as good a time as any. After a few rows I realised that I am in for endless stocking stitch, it is small stitches and its all stocking stitch and I am going to die of boredom, so I am going to knit it at the same time as other things and pick it up when I can only do stocking stitch rather than be able to actually think as I knit. These opportunities crop up quite a lot. When Callum is being fractious and I have to keep stopping and at knitting group when I start yakking and don't watch what I am doing (I have often said 'you can't knit at knitting group!' because I talk too much and end up coming home and unpicking everything I did). I can't knit anything with lace or cables at knitting group, or do anything that requires increasing, decreasing, counting rows or basically anything but...endless stocking stitch!! as I said.

And I have knit another three rows of Teal Cardigan, woot woot, at this rate it will be finished by 2020. The main problem with it is that the sleeves didn't fit properly after I followed the pattern exactly, so I have lost a bit of trust in it. Every time I start to knit I wonder if its all going to be unpicked later. Which makes me feel like I am wasting my time. So I pick up something else.

In other news, the dentist was awful. But Callum enjoyed spending his first time being babysat by my friend Ains and he looked very happy and loved up when I picked him up. I left a bottle of milk just in case and I was fantasising as I drove to pick him up that Ains would show me the empty bottle and tell me that he had drank the lot. LOL. Yah right. So, still no luck on that front. He really is hilarious. He just has no idea what he's supposed to do with it. He just chews on it and talks to it and then finally gets a bit annoyed that this thing in his gob is getting in the way of him whingeing about being hungry! derrrr!!

I offered him some solid food during the week. He wasn't overly interested. I am doing Baby Led Solids which is 'real' food once they can sit up on their own and reach for it and grab it, but he just played with it. I decided to see what he thought of baby mush spooned in his gob, but he wasn't overly interested in that either. Oh well. He's fat and content for now so, meh.