So, we're on school holidays now, for two weeks (I think). This is our first school holidays so we don't really know what we are doing, probably not a lot.

On the second to last day of school they had an Easter Hat parade. I went to Spotlight and bought a plastic hat and various bits of paraphenalia and stuck it on. Baden was absolutely thrilled with my creation and announced that he was sure to win.

When we got to school that day it became very apparent that he wasn't going to win anything, lol. Holy cow, who knew that the Easter Hat competition was a parental competitive sport? It seems that the school has a bit of a culture around this event, some of the creations were breathtaking, the skills and time taken, not to mention the size of these monstrosities sitting on top of these little kids heads. It was a sight to behold. Baden was still so proud of his hat though, which was the main thing, and of course he didn't win but he had a lot of fun. We went to the school lunch (a dreadful sausage sizzle but I had been forewarned about the quality of the sausages so I ate my lunch before I went), and then we watched the parade. It did seem to drag on for a while but it was great to see all the kids having fun and watching the faces of the parents who didn't win after spending obviously a hell of a lot of time making their kid's hat!! ha ha ha. Cheap thrills.

I happened to chat with Baden's teacher and in the course of the conversation she mentioned that they were at school on the Thursday as well, which was news to me, lol, I thought it was the last day on Wednesday, so that was lucky! I need to read the newsletters more carefully!

We also went to his parent teacher interview. He isn't gifted at anything, we all know that, but his teacher said he was an absolute delight to teach, did everything he was asked to do, was a quick learner and was popular with the other kids in the class. What more could you ask for. She also said that we had "done a good job", which was lovely. He does seem to be doing very well, is picking up reading really well and is enthusiastic about reading and writing, and he likes school and has made some specific friends. So its all good.

Pooooor me, I am so sick, I am so sick. I have the flu, but except its not the flu, its something else, something evil and flu-like but no coughing or snot, just tired, head spins, chills but no fevers. I would kill for a good fever so it could kill this bloody thing. Fevers are your friend folks, I know they don't feel like it at the time and all the panadol and nurofen ads on TV make out like they are something to avoid, but a fever is your immune system raising your body temperature which cooks the bugs till they're dead. If you take something to lower the fever then you are stopping your body from killing the invading marauders that are making you sick.

Anyway, I am siiiiiiick and going back to bed now.

Poor Bloggy, things are going to change soon and I will have more time.

I have cut my hours at work, to almost nil after this week. I have sort of resigned I suppose, and told them I can't work the school holidays and only want to be on-call after that if they really need me. Life is just too busy with two small children and uni and a husband and a house to look after (I know that sounds like I actually care that I have no time to do the housework which isn't entirely accurate, lol), but I do like to make sure the place is kept relatively tidy even with two small children, and lately it just hasn't been happening and I am sick of it.

I don't know how people work and have small children. But then again, we have no support. I don't have a mother who can step in when needed, even for an hour or so. Such a person just doesn't exist in our lives. And of course Steve's mother just passed away but she lived a couple of hours away anyway and was getting too old be be able to do such things even if she did live around the corner. And I don't really like asking my friends to step in unless its for something really really important, such as my husband and I going on our 'once every five years' date, lol. So that just leaves us. So my hour-long commute each way and working five days means that it has all become a bit much for us and something's gotta give.

I have been working for four months. To be honest, I am absolutely knackered. Knackered. I gave that job all I had, one hundred percent effort, I didn't ever slack off, not even for a moment, I loved it and gave it my all. I learnt so much and I know I found my calling in life, but timing is everything and its just not the right time for it at the moment.

I dropped a unit at uni, I was falling so behind so quickly and I am still only just managing to keep up with the one unit that I am doing, its a law unit and for some reason I am finding it really easy so far, on the very little time I have for it I seem to be doing okay, so hopefully that translates into doing well when I can actually have a good look at the text book.

Anyway, still knitting. I am knitting the Tea Leaves Cardigan and for some reason the yoke pattern was kicking my arse. I re-knit it twice. It seems to be on track now. No wonder I hardly ever follow a pattern, lol.

And I have two jumpers that need buttons, one for each kid, same pattern, called Tama, same yarn, the knitpicks gorgeousness. And I am getting some more, just tossing up between the red gypsy and the purple, decisions decisions.

So I am really looking forward to becoming a lady of leisure again soon. More time to study, knit, sew and hang out with my kids while they are still little. If my work rings me to go in every now and then that will be fun too.

God loves a Tryer, so they say, and nobody can ever say I haven't tried to go back to work. But for now I think I need to sit down for a minute, and I don't mean at the bloody traffic lights.

Poor bloggy, just no spare time.

Everything is crazy, work is so busy, I have cut my hours but my job is the same, so I am trying to fit a busy fulltime job into part time hours which has turned it into a frenetic blur. I am not sure I can keep up the pace, but I have learnt so much now that I could get a job anywhere I reckon, and that was part of my plan, so I might finish up soon. I say that every week though, lol.

And now uni has started as well, just to make life more interesting! I am already behind, and its only the second week. I am doing two units, I was going to drop one, but I might drop my job instead. I am still deciding,

Still knitting at the traffic lights though, so all is not lost. The traffic has been foul all week, last night it took me two and a half hours to get home. This morning it took an hour and a half to get to work. It makes it so difficult.

Enough whingeing!

I have made a little cardigan, its called "Jane". I made it for my niece but I don't think I will send it to her. Or maybe I will. Its made from Bendigo Classic 8ply, but I think it might be a bit scratchy. I am still deciding. Its definitely not all that soft, and I don't think I will bother with it again and I wish I had chosen something else to make this one with. Maybe a cotton and wool blend of some description, I dunno.

I am getting really fussy with yarn now, I don't even like cleckheaton much anymore, that used to be the workhorse, but now I like soft. Gotta be soft. I got some from the USA, from knitpicks, and its as soft as butter, I have made Callum a jumper with it and next it's my turn, just got to find the right pattern.

About five years ago I saw a crochet pattern for a tea cosy and decided that I wanted to make it for my mother in law Fay. I didn't know how to crochet at the time so I had to learn. I never finished that tea cosy but I still wanted to make her one, so every year just before her birthday I would look at different knitting patterns and then again at christmas time, I had such good intentions, I even bought an old tea pot at Vinnies so I could get the size right. She was the only person I know who needed a tea cosy because she was the only person I know who makes tea in a tea pot. She got me quite addicted to it as well for a while there.

I had a few patterns saved in my favourites folder, and ummed and aahed over them twice a year, every year, and just never quite got around to making one.

And now it's too late. She died in hospital this morning and now it's too late. I wish I had made it for her. I did make her other things, I made her a bag during my sewing phase at christmas time, but I wish I had made her a tea cosy. She had such a manky old one on her tea pot, and every time I saw it I would look forward to giving her the one I was going to make, because it was going to be lovely. So much thought went into it, why didn't I make the bloody thing?

It's too late now. She is gone. And I know it will be a while before I stop looking at tea cosy patterns, it has become such a hobby for me. But there is no point now.

Its such a dumb thing, but I am really really sad. I am so sorry Fay, I wanted to do that for you but I just never quite got around to it. I wish I had.

Poor blog, so neglected.

I finished the jumper, I need buttons for it though. And I have started another one and have been knitting in the car on the way to work, yes, I am the driver, lol, but the light changes take forever, I can get two or three rows done at each intersection and it makes the commute seem less like empty time.

Baden has started school and is going swimmingly. He has settled in well and seems to enjoy it. I am doing the drop off every morning and he hasn't gone to After School care yet because Steve picks him up, but I am going to have to take more time off, I just can't give these precious days up, of dropping off and picking him up, I will never get them back and they belong to Baden and I, not to my job.

Speaking of the job, I am still enjoying it, although my heart isn't in it just at the moment because of the wish to be a school mum just right now. So something is going to happen with that next week, I just have to decide what that means. Its not that I don't want to be there, its just that I want to be somewhere else more.

I started this little jumper in the weekend and got down to the armholes and then realised that I couldn't live with what I thought was a mistake, but now I am not so sure that it was actually a mistake because the re-knit is back to the same place and it looks the same! I thought I had done an extra kfb on the purl row, but hmm, maybe I didn't, maybe it just does that. Surely I wouldn't do it twice in the same spot, and anyway, wouldn't that make a bit of a hole if I had done that?

Ah, who knows. I am back to where it was up to in this picture now.

The pattern is puerperum or something, can't be bothered looking up the proper spelling! The yarn is heirloom colorado in a beautiful grass green colour, I love it.

Work is busy. Crazy-busy. I am learning so much every day, it never stops. Today I got to work and made up a little list of things I wanted to get done today, it was quite a short list which meant I would get time to look at some longer term projects. Then the phone rang and I happened to answer it. So then the whole day was completely different and involved a trip to Nowra and lots of phone calls. I did get my little list finished though! I am still enjoying it, although the commute is a beeyotch. Especially now that all the dorks on the road are back from holidays. It was so nice for a while there. Now its back to a crawl. That's the worst part of the job.

School starts in about three weeks. We are all ready, hair has been cut, uniform bought except for the shirt that is only sold at the school but I have a back-up just in case we don't make it to the uniform shop in time (but we will!), shorts, socks, hat, shoes, all ready. The countdown is on.

He has to go to After School care for half an hour or twenty minutes or so every day, till Steve picks him up. I am fine with that, he'll love it. Its at the school anyway, in the hall, he'll get there and play for a while and then it will be time to come home. And he knows a kid that goes there already.

But he also has to go to Before School care if I am to make it to work on time for my 8.30am start. And I am becoming increasingly aware that that, is in fact, not okay with me. In fact, its completely unacceptable to me.

In fact, I won't do it. Not doing it. Don't wanna. Won't.

So I don't know what is going to happen with that. I really don't. All I know is that I am definitely not okay with it. I have childhood scars from the start of my schooling and the emotional baggage I carry from it is adding fuel to the flame and basically, I am not doing it, right? I will be dropping my kid off at school just before school starts, with his lunchbox packed and his homework done, or whatever. But it will be me there.

My mother didn't even pick me up from my first day of school. I had to go and find my sister and walk home with her. I walked out of the classroom and saw the other kids mothers and already knew mine wasn't going to be there. I can feel the emotion as I write this. At five years old I processed as being that I wasn't as important as these other kids so that explained it see. My first day of school finished and I trailed along behind my big sister and her friend who were completely uninterested in anything a nuisance five year old had to say. I am sure I was asked all about my day at some point, when Mum got home from work, but I have no recollection of that. And she did drop me off that morning. I remember that. Thank god she bothered to do that. Probably had to do the paperwork or something (how cynical I am, lol)

I have taken the day off work for Baden's first day of school and I will be there outside the classroom at the end of his first day of school and he will walk out and see all the mums waiting and he will see his own mother smiling at him, excited to be hearing all about my VERY IMPORTANT boy's day at school. I have waited a very very long time for that day and have seen it in my head many times. NOTHING will stop me being there, I even told them that I need that day off at the interview before I even started working.

Its obviously a big issue for me because I remember when my cousins little girl started school and my cousin said she would be catching the bus home with her big sister. I begged to pick her kids up that day, I literally begged her and I think I even started crying when I told her why. So anyway, she did pick her kids up that day!! bless her for indulging me!!

But anyway, back to the Before School care. As I said, the After School care thing is fine, it will be for half an hour at the most before Steve gets there and on the first day I will be there myself and will probably wangle the next couple of days to finish work early as well so he can settle in a bit before starting the After School care. But the Before School care makes me feel like I have failed somehow. I don't want to waste these precious days that I know my kid will remember. I don't want him to be in care for two hours a day before school starts and have the start of the day be a mad rush and drop off. I don't want to stop working, I really like it.

So, I dunno. Just have to figure it out I suppose.

I do know that its pretty much non-negotiable though...

So that's a bit complicated.

Happy New Year. We aren't doing anything, I didn't even realise it was New Years Eve until yesterday.

Work has been craaaaazy. The 'office lady' (as in, person who does a lot of the office work but also does everything else like we all do) took some time off to go and see her parents interstate, so its just been me and the two bosses and another guy that has been called in on a couple of days to help at a couple of funerals. We had fifteen funerals in one week, yep, fifteen. It was mental. I have been totally thrown in the deep end, with varying results, lol, no major cock-ups though. I am really tired and need the weekend very much!!

Not all of the funerals have been full services. Some have been No Service No Attendance. They always make me so sad. Imagine dying and nobody comes to your funeral.

Coronation Street seems to have been taken off over the holidays. Spewin'

Nothing much else happening around here to be honest. Not even much knitting. No sewing. And I still haven't sent off a Secret Santa gift that was supposed to go at the middle of December. Oops.

The christmas pav, Callum opening his christmas present wearing his Jimmy Giggle pyjamas that he got for his birthday, and his birthday cake. I was so tired on his birthday but I managed to get this done.

Christmas was nice, a bit quiet this year but still quite festive. The kids got spoilt, I always say we don't go crazy and then I see the pile under the tree. Its easy at this age though because demands aren't all brand name specifics and toys are quite cheap. I overheard a conversation between Baden and Santa that mentioned a Monster Truck and I was already a bit unsure about what I had bought, so I raced off to buy him a Monster Truck. And he kept nicking Callum's Pillow Pet that he got for his birthday, so I grabbed him one of those as well.

I got spoilt, I got gold hoop earrings, bigger ones than I already have, I only wear gold hoops so its nice to have another pair. I also got a pair of pinking shears! and a Coles Myer voucher that I am going to use to get some new work clothes. I don't have any nice clothes to wear. I have two work uniforms, one for funerals and one for transfers, but in between times in the office we just wear normal clothes and I really need to update and get some nice pants and dresses so I am not scratching my head every morning.

The weather has been terrible lately so the pool is green, so even though its hot today we can't jump in it.

And the Willie Wagtails are back, under the eaves of the laundry, in the same nest. Three more babies!