Smile Everybodeeeeee!! yes, that means you too Callum!

Here are my two beautiful sons, Callum is two days old and all dressed up to go out and buy a new TV.

And here are another couple of pictures, of him at three days old, on Christmas Day, and four days old, in one of my handknits because it was a cold day (a nice change).

His feet are huge. HUGE. Too big for all the booties I made for him including the three-month size. He is a massive guts, milk has come in and everything is going swimmingly. He has dodged the jaundice that his brother had - he was ever so slightly yellow on Day 3 and then it was gone. It won't be back now.

He still has the dodgy shaped head of Those Who Choose to Arrive Sideways but its going down each day.

Midwife visits tomorrow to weigh and check.

Everything is great!

Up Yours!

Just a quick cheeky one. Baden does the one finger salute, Callum apparently prefers to express himself the old fashioned way, lol.

Merry Christmas!

He's here!!!

My little bloke Callum was born this morning at 7.50am after a four hour drug free waterbirth.

He was born at home under the watchful eyes of two wonderful midwives and his Daddy and big brother who helped Dad cut the cord.

Everything went very smoothly. Callum decided to come out slightly sideways so he has a massive lump on the side of his head but its gone down heaps now and will probably be gone by tomorrow. Baden had a cone head as well, I have coneheaded babies but they seem to do the job nicely and leave mum in one piece, which is great, lol.

He has a tooth bud sitting in his gum, just poking through, its only just there but its definitely a tooth poking through!! He has been feeding like a trooper all day, has hardly stopped but has finally worn himself out and gone to sleep.

He was 8 pounds 9 ounces and had a head circumference of 36 and is 56cm long (exactly the same length as Baden but nearly a pound heavier and 2cm bigger head - but I think that is because of the weird moulding from coming out a bit skew-wiff)

We are a very happy little family tonight.

*crickets*

Nothing to report.

I remembered that I have forgotten to get Baden's Santa photo taken. whoops.

I was putting it off till the last minute because I thought I would have two babies in the photo, but its nearly christmas so I suppose I should schlep out to the shops to get it done. Except I don't feel particulary festive at the moment in regard to shopping, I always hibernate when it gets too close to christmas, and going into labour at the shopping centre doesn't exactly float my boat.

The thing I hate most about christmas is...parking. I have parking anxiety at the best of times, I hate looking for a park, I just loathe it. My heart starts pounding and I get very anxious about it, I don't know when it started, a few years ago. I don't know why because I am actually quite good at finding a car park, but yeah, I just get really anxious about finding a park as I get closer to the shopping centre. It's rather bizarre. Sometimes when Steve is driving around looking for a park I make him stop and I get out and meet him inside because I just can't stand it. So I usually go shopping during quiet times during the week. Which counts out any day leading up to christmas.

In other news, I have been knitting. I need to take photos. I am currently making a pair of longies, little knitted pants that go over a cloth nappy. With Baden I went through a brief phase of using modern cloth nappies, which was heaps of fun, so I will do the same with this bubba. Just while its fun, the modern cloth nappies are absolutely adorable, not like the old fashioned terry squares, they are heaps more absorbent and come in really cute little patterns. I have made a couple of soakers too, they do the same job but are short little pants.

Baden is going through a particularly hilarious phase at the moment, of calling us by our first names. He calls me Shed, unless I ignore him and then he says "Sheridan!". Today they went out for a while and when they got back he calls out "Sheridan, where are ya?" as they walked in the door. And he calls Steve "Steve" unless he doesn't answer and then its "Steven!".

It makes us laugh. He's so funny with the things he comes out with, you just never know what is next. Three year old's are just so much fun to live with, most of the time.

Still pregnant. 41 weeks now so baby is definitely "due" but not "overdue" till after 42 weeks. Midwife visited on Monday, everything still looks good, baby is still very active, fundus has dropped although the head isn't engaged, but that doesn't mean anything. I am having strangling braxton hicks especially at night and the other night I had a few niggles but nothing much.

Everything is fine. Just a bit boring really. When I first worked out the dates I thought I was having a christmas baby anyway, so maybe I was right after all.

Still here, still pregnant. I have never been this pregnant before, what a trip. I was so worried I wouldn't make it to December, and now here we are nearly halfway through!

I am feeling great, yep, I said I am FEELING GREAT. Why can't I feel great? apparently I am supposed to be "over it" and I am a "poor thing" etc etc etc.

What is UP with that? I feel better than I did a few weeks ago. Life is good. I don't do housework (I am too pregnant - well, okay I do still do some but only because I am a fusspot and Steve doesn't do it right), I don't cook - haven't done for ages, Steve looks after Baden as soon as he gets home from work, while I rest after a hard day of resting.

It's great!! Bubs is still moving around in there and I am still carrying quite high, not that that means anything but he has stopped bouncing off my cervix which is nice.

I am looking forward to meeting my baby, but I am not feeling particularly impatient, I am enjoying myself too much. I go for massages and pop out and buy lunch and meet my friends for coffee and swim in the pool and watch TV and knit. Now that my back is fixed I feel much better. That was my main problem before, I am so glad I went and got it fixed.

The only thing I don't really do is go shopping, and that's only because I have already bought everything I need and a lot of things I probably don't need. The baby has a lot of outfits. Second babies are much more low maintenance because you already have everything like the bassinette and the cot etc but all babies need brand new clothes, I am not re-using any newborn stuff its all brand new.

I am buying a new topper for the bugaboo, a red one. I have a blue one and I want a red one, so I am getting it this week.

Midwife visits tomorrow. Or "Farmer wants a midwife" as Baden keeps calling her.

I went to the chiropractor and he fixed my pelvis. It had rotated forwards on one side, no wonder I was in so much pain! When he looked at it he said "ouch!".

Yes. Quite.

So that has been fixed along with my bad mood. I didn't realise what a bad mood I was in until I felt better.

The kitchen has been painted, I started it nearly two years ago and Steve finished it yesterday. And the dogs have been washed. I can't give birth knowing the kitchen's not finished and the dogs are dirty, I just can't. I keep finding reasons to put it off, not that I have much say in the matter. It's just nerves. I am a bit nervous about giving birth. Its just that once it starts there is no stopping, no getting off until the ride comes to a halt.

Today is my due date. Today or tomorrow, depending on which piece of paper you look at. Me, I don't look at any pieces of paper, I am not really into "due dates". If my baby comes on his due date the irony will be overwhelming considering my stance. I am just happy to be in December. Babies are not trains, they don't run on time, although most trains in Sydney don't run on time anyway so maybe babies are trains! The schedule is just to give you a rough idea of when to be on the platform.

So, I am officially on the platform. Waiting to see the first glimpse of the train that is coming to run me over, oh no, not run me over, pick me up and take me to a place that I want to be, that's more like it.

Oh god, I feel so ill. I have picked up Baden's lurgy and its gone straight to my chest. As usual he gets a mild version of something and brings it home and it knocks me on my arse. It was the same with the flu that we both had, he had it for 3 or 4 days and was still running around and I had it for three weeks and was in bed.

My back is also really sore, I am off to the chiropractor today, I can't stand this pain, its so relentless. I want the baby to come to get rid of the back pain but I want him to wait so I can get my strength up from this chest infection. grrr.

In other more positive news, Steve found my original car keys, the ones that have an active battery so my central locking works. Yay. They have been lost for over a year. They were in the corner of the lounge room behind the door wrapped up in an old rug that we used to have in the kitchen. Then it went under the spare bed and was recently brought out again to put down in the kitchen again for a while. So that's fantastic, I have central locking again, and just in time. I tried to get a new battery for my spare keys but the locksmith stuffed it up. I wasn't looking forward to having to park the pram and go round to the drivers door and unlock the car and then go back around and put bubby in his capsule. So now I don't have to!

I am going back to bed till its time to go to the chiropractor.

The other night I had a few niggles, some back pain and lots and lots of very strong braxton hicks. I told Steve that tonight could possibly be the night that our son was joining us. Well, nothing happened of course, and the next day I was back to normal.

A very wise woman just told me that more babies are born on the night of the full moon than any other night and maternity units often put on more staff on those nights. She said its common to experience braxton hicks and niggles and to think you are in labour when there is a full moon.

Well, guess what...yep, that was the night. How amazing and freaky! The moon does have an influence on fertility so I guess its not surprising but to have actually experienced it is quite...cool I suppose.

Next full moon isn't till the 16th December! Better get comfy then I guess.

Still here, although not 'due' just yet. 39 weeks now. Midwife visited today, everything is good, bubs head is still floating, Getting a few niggles but nothing too drastic. Blood pressure good, fundal height good, etc etc. I have never been this pregnant before and I have an irrational fear that I am going to wake up each morning with stretchmarks. I have been lucky so far. Not sure how I escaped.

The postman came today with Baden's parcel, he is getting a scooter. The postman told him that the parcel is for him and he's coming back to get it later, if we could just mind it till he finishes work. LOL, how cute. Baden keeps talking about how the parcel is for the 'liddle man who is coming back to get it'.

He requested a motorbike, which sent me into a bit of a spin because I don't know what that actually means to a 3 year old, but then he changed his mind when we were looking through a catalogue and said he wanted a scooter. He also wants a pair of "Ben 10 fongs". So, he is getting both of those things. He is also getting Spiderman pyjamas and some playdough with the equipment that goes with it, that's mostly to distract him when his little brother is here. I think Steve is quite keen to get him a sandpit as well. Me and my new carpet aren't quite so keen on this idea.

I have had nausea for this whole pregnancy except for a 2-week break at around 24 weeks. Its just awful and SO UNFAIR!!

I also have heartburn. I am also the size of a house and I can't move around easily and its 40 degrees outside so I have been living in my bedroom in the 16 degree air con.

I have nothing else to report, I am just documenting the last few days. I am very excited to meet my little boy, I can't wait. I really want him to wait till December but if he doesn't I don't really mind because I am so impatient anyway, lol!!

I can't believe I will have two children. I am still processing that I am lucky enough to have ONE!!! It feels a bit greedy to be having two, I have done nothing to deserve it and I don't feel quite worthy. I wonder if I ever will. I never imagined having two children, having one child felt like a bit of a pipe dream for most of my life. I recoiled at the thought of NOT being a mum but I couldn't quite envision it actually happening either. Yet here I am, expecting my second baby any day, with a lovely husband who is a WONDERFUL father and we live in our own lovely little house. Yay us.

These are the best days of my life.

Oh my feet, oh my aching feet. Where are my ankles anyway? I used to have ankles.

Today I decided to go and buy a scanner. I just wanted a cheap little flatbed scanner like I used to use at work back in the olden days. Well, you can't even buy them anymore, you have to buy a flash-harry one or get a printer with a scanner built in. The dots per inch are in the thousands now. I would have been happy with 300, I just want it for knitting patterns and old photos and things, nothing special.

Anyway, so I bought the cheapest one. So now we have a new printer.

Then I walked around the shops for a while. I got to the end of the mall and didn't want to walk back, I just wanted to orb myself home.

I also paid $5 for the Mister Minit guy to put a new battery in my car key for the central locking. I get out to the car and test it and it doesn't bluddy work. grrrrr. Now I have to go back to Holden to buy another friggin battery and get them to put it in this time. I am so annoyed. I didn't go back and complain because I didn't want to walk back there.

I went for a scan today. I was literally going out of my mind with worry. I get so worked up at the best of times and the pregnancy hormones made my drama queen tendencies even worse.

The scan went well, everything is normal. I cried with relief. We have dodged the bullet. I am so grateful, I know not everyone is as lucky as we are and the result could have gone differently. Part of me was sure he was fine but the 'what if' kept jumping into my head, I was going round and round and round in circles with it.

So now I can just relax and enjoy the rest of my pregnancy, like I was looking forward to doing!! My wee boy will be here soon!!

I am so happy and so grateful. Bring on those labour pains, I will welcome each and every one of them.

I am feeling the urge to withdraw a lot lately. I just want to be at home, quietly sitting waiting. I have been having some fears that my little baby isn't okay. I am sure it's just last minute nerves. I wish there was some way of being reassured, but all we can do is wait till he's here. The scan showed no abnormalities but they can't be a hundred percent sure of anything. Please just be okay little bubby. Any cares or thoughts I had about him being another boy have completely gone, I couldn't care less about that anymore. I just want my little bloke here, safely. Maybe this is Mother Nature's way of making sure things are completely in perspective for me? She's so clever, she never ceases to amaze me. I think I would prefer just to know so I can relax and enjoy the last few days though! I haven't been able to sleep or eat properly. My mind just churns. Please just arrive safely my beautiful boy, and be healthy and normal. I love you so much and want you to have a wonderful life.

The bedroom is painted, it looks fantastic, I love it. The pool is clean and we have been swimming in it. The weather has been utterly disgustingly hot, 40 degrees today and supposed to be hotter tomorrow. I have been sitting in our bedroom in the air conditioning. It's hard to get comfortable so I haven't been knitting much, I miss it! I have tried but can't do many rows before my back starts to ache, it doesn't matter how I sit or arrange the pillows.

We got the carpet in the bedroom....but unfortunately it made the cream paint we chose look too yellow. So now we have to repaint. Well, Steve has to repaint.

He doesn't like the paint colour either. He's not thrilled about having to repaint, but we have both tried to decide that the colour is okay but neither of us like it after a week of trying. So it was back to Bunnings for us. Its really hard to get it just right!

I have been knitting the Embossed Leaves socks. Its a very pretty pattern, quite easy. Hard to believe how far I have come, knitting lace patterns on socks, never thought I'd see the day!! this is my fifth pair of socks. I even managed to knit them at knitting group. I usually just take along a very easy project, or start something easy, because I am such a chatterbox at knitting group that its pointless to do anything more complicated. But this week I was determined.

I am not sure about the yarn choice I made for the socks. The lace pattern is so pretty, and the yarn is so pretty with its variations of colour. But I don't think the lace pattern needs the varigated yarn, I think it might be better with more subtle variegated yarn....sometimes the yarn can hide the lace pattern. hmm...maybe one of the knitabulous pinks would have been better, or the Jitterbug green...

I have also been knitting for liddle bubby. Using cotton. I made him a little singlet type top and a matching hat, in pure white cotton.

I had my Baby Shower in the weekend. It was a beautiful day. I cried a lot of happy tears. I am very very blessed to know some of the people I know. Very lucky and I am grateful for them xxx

So now all I am doing is basically staying home alot. Knitting, sleeping, swimming, waiting. Next midwife appointment is on Monday. I will be 38 weeks on Tuesday. I will be thrilled to make it to December, but any day is fine from now on really. We are ready and waiting.

Just a quick one. Here is one of the photos of today. After alot of deliberation I think this is my favourite. They were all really good. Its got Joelle's watermark on it. She's giving me a disk with all the photos on.

When bubs arrives she's coming back to do some newborn shots! She's very talented, just building her portfolio now so I offered my belly and she took me up on the offer. I am so glad she did!

36 weeks.

Midwife visit tomorrow.

I have had a couple of quite rough days, but today I feel fantastic. I had a lovely morning, getting photos done here at home and a couple of the girls came round to hang out while it happened. It was really nice.

Bubs was using my cervix as a trampoline yesterday. At knitting group I would keep getting electric shocks which would make me yelp. I had to reassure them that I wasn't going into labour!! He must have been a bit further down. Today he seems to have floated back up. What a relief! I just feel really really good today. Last week my back hurt so much, but that's better today too.

I got some new sock yarn, its Collinette Jitterbug in a pale green. Its luffly. I don't know what I will make with it yet. Something noice anyway. And I got a new sock needle with it. A metal one - good idea!!

We get new carpet in our bedroom tomorrow. Yay!! No more living with the previous owners yucky old carpet. It really is hideous. HIDEOUS. I have some little wall stickers to put up in the corner of the room next to the bed. That's bubby's little spot for his bassinette.

And we got the cars fitted with the capsules yesterday.

Everything is nearly ready for you my son. Just cook a little bit longer, get those lungs nice and healthy and then you just let me know when you want to come and join our happy little family! I can't wait till we are looking at each other face to face!! Mummy is excited, Daddy is excited and your big brother is excited to meet you!

I should be knitting. I have a project that is nearly finished. Today I borrowed the book Favourite Socks, (thanks Donna!) which has the Embossed Leaves pattern I mentioned ages ago. I just have to decide which yarn to use, there is dark pink, bright pink and light pink to choose from. Decisions, decisions.

So, I am not hanging around here, I am dying to cast on, which means I have to finish the other thing first because I only have one needle in that size.

So I'm off!!

Midwife did visit today. I am 35 weeks, measuring exactly perfect for 35 weeks. Blood pressure the same as it ever was. Plenty of kicks, baby is head down, not engaged yet.

She also checked Baden's tummy because he has a baby in his tummy too you see. And she took his blood pressure with the cuff thing and pronounced it perfect. When Steve got home I said "Baden, tell Daddy about the midwife taking your blood pressure" and Baden goes "yeah, the midwife took my blood pressure home".

LOL!!! When she left Baden asked where she was going and I said she was going home, so I guess he just figured she was taking the blood pressure she "took" with her. I love having a three year old in the house, cute stuff like this is what keeps you sane when the tantrums threaten to take your sanity away.

In other news, I have been buying a bit of sock yarn to complement my new habit. I got a couple of lovely skeins in the Ravelry destash. Actually, that's a 'few' not a couple. Lovely pinks and a nice blue.

I am also knitting a little singlet in white cotton for bubs first outfit. I am making it in pure white cotton. And I will make a hat to match.

I think we are off to visit the inlaws this weekend. And then next weekend is my baby shower!! woo hoo!!

Wow, its November already, holy cow its going so fast. 34 weeks...I think..? I have lost count. My midwife comes on Wednesday...I think...will have to doublecheck...gawd I am so absent minded at the moment. I can't remember a thing, literally really scatterbrained about the slightest things, lol.

Here are some photos of what has been happening around here lately.

A photo of Baden, taken the other day, on our way out to school. He has a bump on his eye, I can't remember how he did that.

A picture of him in his car bed. He has been sleeping in it every night. He comes in most nights but we are slowly getting him to come in later and later. I really want him to sleep the whole night in his own bed before the baby comes. The last thing I need is a tag team of sons waking me up during the night! The little baby in utero gets very active at 10pm and 3am. Last night he was making huge movements, not just kicking but actually flipping about. It was very ticklish.

The room we have designated as Baden's needs new paint and carpet something desperate. The colour schemes chosen by the last owners are interesting to say the least. I don't even know what colour this carpet was originally, its so old and rank. And the walls are lilac. Yuck. Its just revolting.

Our bedroom is coming along nicely, still not finished but looking good so far.

Other photos are of my River Rapids socks and the last one is a little sweater called "Yoda Sweater". I have made one of these before, for my friend's baby. I make them with Debbie Bliss cashmerino aran which is very soft because it has cashmere in it. I love the colour of this one.

Baden just came in and said "I've got stinky feet". I said "Yeah I know". He goes "smell it". I'm like "no thanks" and he goes "why?".

Gee, I wonder.

I need to take some photos. I will tomorrow. I have finished my River Rapids socks. They are lovely. But I broke my special sock knitting needle, spewin'. I have another but I was using two to knit both socks at the same time. I will have to learn to knit them on one needle. I put my big fat foot on it and I heard it snap, gah!!

Steve is taking the day off tomorrow to finish our bedroom. We are also finally buying a mattress for Baden's car bed which is all set up and waiting.

In other news, Baden wore undies to school yesterday, no accidents. Huge milestone, so proud. In the past I would have thought "big deal" but these days things are different, lol. Its like when people used to hang those ultrasound pics up at their desk at work. I used to think "how lame". Fast forward a few years and I was pushing my own ultrasound pics under people's noses at work, ha ha. Times change.

We had a visit from our midwife Linda today, bubs is head down, still floating but in the right spot, so that's good. He was sideways for ages. My belly really popped out, I knew when he moved, he was really really active and then my belly just blew out. Everything is fine, measuring fine etc etc etc no dramas. 32 weeks now so six or eight or ten to go. Probably six or seven I reckon.

I think that's about all the news for now.

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. In the last couple of years I have made friends with some wonderful people. And then the fuckers move away!

You know who you are. Nat moved to England, Cass moved to Adelaide, and now Melissa is moving to Melbourne AND IN THE SAME WEEK Cat is moving to Canberra.

I am starting to get a complex.

Second pair of socks, called Spring Forward are done.

I am onto the third pair. Told you it was addictive. And they feel like sheepskin against your feet, so soft and warm. I'm a goner. This third pair is called River Rapids, knitting it in blue.

Also knitted a few things for bubs, a little short sleeve cotton cardigan for my wee summer baby, and a little cotton hat to match. And I have started on a blanket, just knitting a square here and there, was supposed to be one a day but the sock knitting was calling me like a siren.

Apart from that, not a lot to report. The bedroom is being painted this week, everything else is as it should be, ho hum, just quiet contentment really. Belly shot above, baby is lying sideways at the moment so I haven't really popped yet. I have lost a bit of weight lately, now that the stupid cravings are gone I am back to eating healthy again and the weight has dropped off my fat backside, lol.

First pair of handknitted socks. Knitted topdown, in the round (of course) using magic loop, 64 stitches, heel flap and gusset, grafted toe, fishscale lace pattern down front.

Yarn was knitabulous "peachface" merino sock yarn bought online.

I have started the other sock. Next time I make socks I am going to knit two at a time on a circular needle. I can't wait to finish this sock because I want to start the next pair called pumpkins, and after I knit that pair I want to make another pair called Embossed Leaves, I just have to find the exact right shade of wool for the third pair. I am not quite sure if I am up to the task of Embossed Leaves yet, but its on the list anyway. No photo till the second one is finished!

So, I seem to be morphing into a sock knitter. At first I was a bit ho hum about the whole thing, even after I finished the first sock, but its like crack, it draws you in and next thing you know you are addicted. I put the sock that I have knitted on my foot and it feels so warm and soft and squishy. I love socks anyway, I am always buying new socks, so there was a predisposition for falling for the handknitted sock phenomenon that my friends speak of. The handknitted sock just seems to have something extra about it.

In other news, the pregnancy is advancing in an unventful fashion, which is the best kind. I have popped and definitely look pregnant now rather than just looking 'a little bit fat'. Steve and I lay in bed at night and talk about the baby and wonder what he is going to look like and speculate on what his personality will be like, its all very exciting. I remember doing this with Baden as well, it was all unknown and very exciting. Such happy days. There is about ten weeks to go. I am really looking forward to meeting my baby, I just can't wait! I love newborns anyway but I think MY newborns are PARTICULARLY gorgeous, I am not biased, its actually true, lol. I can't wait for those first labour pains because I know that I will be meeting my baby shortly after.

I have a few little baby jumpers that are unfinished, sitting in my growing pile of unfinished projects. I have to do the sleeves, I use to hate sleeves but now that I have learned magic loop (to knit the socks) then the task of sleeves isn't so daunting.

I also bought myself some knitpicks knitting needles. I have been thinking about buying them for myself for the last two birthdays, and finally bit the bullet. They brought out a mini set which has everything I need at a third of the price so I took that as a sign.

Eeeh, must go, the toddler has gone quiet which means there is probably toothpaste or mascara being smeared on something...

I am back in the land of the living, the flu has completely gone. What a horrible flu it was.

I have been knitting heaps of things for my little baby, I haven't taken any photos yet so I will get on and do that. I am also knitting a cable cardigan in a teal blue colour that is very nice. The wool is a bit splitty so I have to concentrate.

In other news, I have finally started to knit a sock!!! I bought some beautiful sock yarn the other day and I just had to sit down and figure out this sock business, so I have started and its going well, YAY!!! I wanted to do a toe-up one but I couldn't figure it out and the top down one instructions were much easier to follow so I did that.

We went to Canberra for the weekend. It was lovely. We stayed in a really nice hotel and I met some online mums group friends for dinner and had a nice time. Then we went to a maternity services protest rally at Parliament House and got rained on. The day before was sunny and brilliant but protest day saw grey skies and lots of rain. It didn't dampen any spirits though and over 2000 people were there to fight for more choices in the poxy maternity system over here. Since Labor have come in Nicola Roxon (politician) has made some pretty dodgy decisions. The funniest part of the rally were the placards, I wish people would use spell check before they write something in big letters which is to be waved around in public, but that's just the spelling nazi coming out in me.

I will be back soon with photos.

Well, things were looking up, I was feeling a lot better, still a bit croaky and tired but up and about at least.

Until today, I came crashing back down. I am so exhausted that I have been in bed all day. I am sick of this, its so boring being sick, especially when you are feeling so unwell that you can't knit! It's like I can expend some energy but I pay for it later. That happened last week too when my friends came to visit and I felt great and we had a nice visit, I even baked a cake, and then the next day I couldn't get out of bed.

I can't wait till I feel better. I have a couple of fun things planned this week so I hope this stupid illness doesn't spoil my plans like it already has for the past couple of weeks. And I have a big weekend planned as well. We are supposed to be going to Canberra.

My lovely husband has been wonderful, he's worth his weight in gold. He has been keeping Baden distracted and busy so I can rest, and feeding him and doing all the parenting things that need doing. I feel very lucky to have him this week.

But mostly I just feel tired and cranky and impatient to get back to my life.

Liddle bubby is kicking away keeping me company. He's a lot more active than Baden was, he kicks all the time, Baden hardly kicked at all.

I haven't posted for a while because I have been extremely ill. Laid up in bed. I had to miss the Bledisloe Game which I have been looking forward to for over a year. I just couldn't get out of bed. I was very upset to miss it, it was the highlight of my social calendar. I tried to get better but I just knew I couldn't go in the end. Luckily we were able to offload my ticket to a friend of one of the others who were going.

I haven't even been able to get out of bed to go to the doctor and they don't do housecalls these days, but there is nothing I can take for it anyway, I don't want to take antibiotics so there's no point seeing a doctor anyway. I have missed knitting group twice, the first week was because Baden was coming down with something and I didn't want him to pass it along to the other kids, and the next week I had to miss because I couldn't get out of bed. I caught what he had but he shook it off pretty quick and it knocked me flat on my arse. I don't know if its swine flu or just the normal flu. I guess I never will know now.

I haven't even been able to knit!

Today I am out of bed for a while, sitting up watching TV. I still have a lot of infection in my lungs and no energy but I think I am starting to get better. Thank god for that.

Little bubby is kicking away so at least I know he's fine. He must wonder what all the coughing is about, he has been getting shaken up quite a bit!

I have been busy knitting little bitty things. I am addicted to knitting booties, I have made five pairs and the sixth is currently on the needles.

I am also knitting a cable cardigan for myself and a little bitty pair of denim cotton dungarees. I finished the blue cardigan at knitting group last week, its a Debbie Bliss design.

Photos are of the famous Iggle Piggle cake and the other one I made for the family barbecue that we had on Sunday.

Steve put in a skylight today, I have been asking for it since we moved in here. It was a bit disappointing. It doesn't even make the room very much lighter. Hmph.

We need to fix the pergola and I need to finish painting the kitchen. We also need to paint and re-carpet our bedroom. I hope the nesting instinct kicks in because there are so many unfinished projects around here.

I just heard Steve say "geez I hope that roof doesn't leak", and he was looking up at the skylight. Oh my gawd, LOL, oh my farkin gawd, ya gotta laugh or you'll cry round here I tell ya, LOL.

Tomorrow my baby turns 3 years old. Far out. I can't believe it. I am sitting here reflecting on the last three years. Easily the happiest three years of my life. I can't believe he didn't exist before. How did I live without him? Steve loves him so much, I love him so much. The best part about being married to your child's father is knowing there is someone on this earth who sees what you see, who forgives them their annoying toddler behaviours as easily as you do and someone who would fight as hard as you do to protect them.

I love watching Steve and Baden together, it just makes my heart burst to see Baden copying Steve. Funny little things, like if Steve is standing watching something on TV and has his arms folded, Baden will stand beside him and look up and copy his posture exactly, moving this way and that to get it exactly right. Its SO cute. And I love sitting inside and eavesdropping on their conversations out in the garden. Its beautiful.

Here is a picture taken moments after he came into the world. It was a beautiful amazing birth, full of power and endorphins and happiness. He came into the world easily and has been easy ever since.

Tomorrow he is going to preschool because they have cake and sing Happy Birthday and he has been looking forward to it for weeks. He always talks about the other kids birthdays so I decided to send him. I made him an Iggle Piggle cake (its terrible). I am going to miss him like crazy and can't believe we won't be together on such a special day, but I will drop him off late and pick him up early. He has loads of presents to open. I let him open one tonight and one yesterday. I only spent $150 which I thought was pretty reasonable but I don't know what the general rule is, lol. It seems reasonable and you get such a lot for your money at this age. He gets a bit spoilt during the year too because I can't really see the point in overloading him with things all at once, I would rather space it out a bit.

Tomorrow night we will go out to dinner because that has become a bit of a tradition for us, to celebrate the day and for Steve and I to celebrate three years of parenthood. And of course I will take his photo wearing his father's shirt, which is our other tradition.

On Sunday the inlaws are coming over for a small lunch, nothing fancy, so I will make another cake for then.

I have started knitting for my little bloke. These are the first things I have made. In BLUE, lol. I am not going to stick with blue for long, I love bright colours, reds and teals and chocolate and yellow. I have heaps of ideas.

Poor old Baden missed out on knitted stuff till I knit him the first jumper when he was about four months old. oh, actually - I made him a hat he wore in hospital when he was first born. It was an awful thing, knit on two straight needles with a big seam down the back, knitted in *gulp* ACRYLIC!!! I was so proud of myself and my beautiful baby in his handknitted hat instead of the hospital-issued thing they put on their heads, which was basically a singlet type thing on their heads, bizarre.

How times have changed, ha ha, gawd how times have changed. I don't even think there is any acrylic in the house these days. I have some cotton I just bought, in cream and denim blue and brown, I am going to make a few things in cotton because I am having a summer baby. I am quite excited by that prospect!

And there will be no seams on any hats, ha ha.

I am onto my next thing, a little shawl collared cardigan. Its cute. Really soft. Hopefully there will be a pic in a few days, they are so quick these little bitty things!

Knitting group started back today. I have missed it and Baden has missed his beloved Judy, the creche lady. He asks to go there every day, every single day he says "Judy today?".

Tuesdays are our favourite day!

40 today. Wow.

A whole new decade. Exciting times. I remember turning 30 and feeling that way too. I can't believe its gone so fast. I have done quite a lot in the last ten years. I moved from Brisbane to Sydney, backpacked all round Europe and the UK, changed jobs a million times, did some study, met my lovely husband, got married, had a baby and now have another one on the way, bought a house.

I am pretty happy with my lot.

I went out for dinner last night for a friend's 30th birthday. We stayed out past midnight and I feel quite seedy today. I used to feel this way after drinking all night and staying out till dawn, but anything past midnight these days gets me feeling hungover. All I had was a pineapple juice, nasty stuff!! lol.

Here are the pics of what my husband bought me: a little statue that is me and Baden and our new bubby. I absolutely love it. I wish I could say he found it and bought it for me as a surprise, ha ha ha, as if. I saw it and loved it and dropped hints about it which he totally didn't get and then when he mentioned that he didn't know what to get me for my birthday I rolled my eyes and then told him to go and buy it for me. d'uh. He's no worse than any other bloke I think they are all a bit clueless, lol, bless him.

And he bought me flowers. They are beautiful. He always gets me beautiful flowers. I love getting flowers on special occasions. And he got me a nice card. So I am very happy.

I am happy to report that I have made a full recovery from my slight break in Happiness Transmission. I have come to realise that I thought one thing and ran with it, made the most out of it. That's okay. Except when you realise that you are running in the wrong direction!

I am a fairly positive kind of person, so that's what I do. I am now running in the right direction, just as helter skelter as I usually do, lol. I am a 'career woman', I 'career' through life on blunt iceskates, ha ha. It has its highs and lows, but at least you know you're alive.

I am back to my old self and I want the baby that is in there. I don't want any other baby at all. I realise now that its not so much that I wanted anything else, I had just already decided something else and was enjoying it to the full. Because that's what I do. And now I am doing it again, thank god. But with the right little person. Yay!!

We have found a name, its a name I have liked for a long time. Its not a leftover name from last time either, its a new one. He picked it himself I think. As soon as I started to get a bit of clarity I felt this name come to me, and now that is how I think of him.

I also found out from the scan that my placenta is a the front....AGAIN!!! What the heck is going on there, its supposed to be a less common spot, so what are the chances of having it there twice in a row. Oh well, I don't know any different!! I thought bubs was being a bit lazy on the kicking front. I didn't feel him till last week. They say you feel it quicker the second time, but nope. But now I know why - there's a big cushion in the way!!

I feel good. I feel happy and contented.

I am not going back to TAFE, I am done with it. I looked at the schedule and the list of subjects that they are going to teach me over the next two semesters and I found it to be wanting.

So I have decided to give it a miss. The main thing I struggled with in the last two semesters was boredom. So many lame subjects, and the class I liked (the one I was actually there for) was only one morning a week and in the first two weeks they only covered Photoshop, and then the first assignment was a graphic design assignment rather than a web design assignment, and overall we only designed ONE website. ONE. Not really good enough for the commitment it takes, so I quit.

In other news, knitting has been very frustrating this week. I have been trying to extend my repetoire of tricks and its been bluuuuuuuddy annoying because I HAVEN'T extended my repetoire of tricks I have just spent hours and hours TRYING to extend my repetoire of tricks. Grrrrr. I have been trying to knit a cable off a chart and it doesn't make sense. It is STUPID. Or something like that ;), what?

Baden has been good. Well, as good as a nearly-three year old can be expected to be I suppose. He has some funny new tricks that keep us entertained. He is a bit of a fan of "Michael Jackskin" who has been on the TV all week, may he rest in peace.

Apart from that, we got a new fridge. That's about it really. I have a job interview tomorrow but I am doubtful of my success. But that's allright.

I have a scan next week to check on bubs. Steve is coming as well. This will be my first scan, we didn't have the 12 week one this time. So we will get to see the baby for the first time, to prove that there really is a person in there.

My cousin just showed me this photo of my little mohican alongside his second-cousin Zander. Its been so long since I have looked at old photos that I forgot how dark he was and how adorable his mohawk was. It was quite impressive. But then it all fell out and grew back blond. Its hard to believe its the same kid actually. He's so blond now.

Oh he was cute, I remember these wonderful beautiful squishy days. I have never seen another baby with such an impressive mohawk. He was such a lovely baby. I thought I was imagining how adorable he was, but I wasn't.

Awww. I don't get clucky over other people's babies anymore. I thought it had gone. But just looking at my own sweet little boy makes me impatient to have those days again with the baby I am currently putting together.

Roll on December!!

I have finished TAFE for the semester. I had a test today and I took the whole three hours to do it because I had to basically learn Access from scratch since I never go to the class and am not interested in Access in the slightest. It was an Open Book test thank goodness. I said to the teacher that at least now I know I will NEVER get a job using Access, lol, and she said 'you just never know'.

But um nah, I know. I knew before actually, which is why I never bothered to turn up to that class, ha ha.

But anyhoo. TAFE really is quite dumb. I am umming and aahing about going back, but part of me figures what the hell. Steve is really supportive and wants me to keep going. I do like studying and I like the routine of going to school on some days and having other days at home, but TAFE is just so lame. I am supposed to be studying web design but the web design class is one morning a week, and the rest of the time is subjects that are so boring and irrelevant or stuff I already know. I only want to do web design, but to be perfectly frank, the amount I have learnt could have been learnt at a six hour workshop at the Community College. I am serious.

But, there's not much else happening at the moment, can't get a job, don't want to stay home all the time because I get so bored and demoralised. I like studying and learning, but this TAFE course is just so bloody lame.

Hmm...anyway, I am on holidays now and I don't have to pay for next semester until it starts, so I have some time to think.

All done, finished today at knitting group.

Central Park Hoodie, in Bendigo Woollen Mills Rustic, colour Wineberry. I am very happy with it, no mistakes to report, I love the colour and its lovely and warm and comfy.

I really enjoyed knitting it but I am glad it's finished.

One year ago Steve and I were in Fiji getting married.

Time flies.

He brought flowers home, I made him a cake and I am cooking a lamb roast.

Both of us thought the other had forgotten. Looks like we both passed the test, lol.

I really need to go and do some cake decorating classes, my cakes are fugly.

The last year has been very happy and uneventful, which I think is a good thing. Quiet contentment out here in our house in the 'burbs. The year ahead is looking bright.

The weather here is awful. Just right to stay in and knit after a yummy lamb roast. Might even rustle up some lemon meringue pie for dessert ("rustle" translates into "go to freezer and open packet").

My afternoon class at TAFE is cancelled tomorrow. I was supposed to hand in an assignment and I haven't done it. What a tin arse I am!

My yarn hasn't arrived yet and the 'no starting' diet lasted a few hours before I cast on for a cardigan called "Mr Greenjeans" with some cleckheaton that I got for $1 a ball at a recent sale at Spotlight.

I ran out of bluddy yarn, halfway up the bluddy hood.

So I have ordered some more, thankfully I can get the same dyelot. It will be here in a couple of days.

Meanwhile I am forcing myself not to start anything new, so I am finishing off a couple of projects that have been sitting around for a while. A jumper for Baden that just needs a collar, actually there are two of those, and a small baby jacket that I have been meaning to finish for ages.

I did order some more wool while I was ordering the extra ball of wineberry because I didn't want it to be lonely in the post. I am going to make myself another jumper, its called Cardigan for Arwen. Its got some fancy cables that might be a bit beyond me but I'll give it a whirl. About time I learnt something new anyway.

I went to TAFE today, lucky I did because we had a two hour exam!! It was Open Book, I forgot my book, lol, but I had a quick squiz at the questions and knew I would be allright.

In my other class we are designing a website, I have chosen to do a knitting shop. It means I can sit in class and "research" ha ha. Its fun.

I got offered a job in the weekend. My teacher from Community College ages ago rang me and asked if I would be interested in doing some coding for a company. When I did the course I told him to keep me in mind if anything ever came up. He said he would because I was his star pupil! (how nice). So it all sounded very promising, until he mentioned the type of website it was!! eeek. Its a 'adult' site. I had a quick look, its just not something I would feel comfortable doing I don't think. Steve said I should do it just for the money and I was trying to be open minded about it, but in the end I just think it would put me in a constant bad mood.

It's a shame, it would be good money and only a few hours a week, from home. sigh. And there is a lot of potential from a design perspective (it wasn't good). But nah. Oh well. Its just not something worth selling my soul for. I did take a couple of days to make my decision though!!

I have nearly finished my Central Park Hoodie. I will finish the back, probably tonight, then I will finish the fronts, which I have done to the armholes, then I just have to pick up stitches for the hood and knit that, and then the button band. There is a few hours of work in there.

Tomorrow I am heading into town for 'World Knit In Public Day'. So that's over an hour on the train, (knitting), then a couple of hours sitting in the company of likeminded people (knitting) and then over an hour on the train again (knitting).

Have I just described a perfect day or what?

oh cripes, its June already. How the hell did that happen so quick?

Baden turns 3 next month. Holy cow.

I turn 40 next month, holy word-a-bit-stronger-than-cow. I am not doing anything for my 40th. I have told Steve that I want a mini-facelift in a few years, that's the only present I want. Maybe we will go out for dinner or away for the weekend or something, but I don't want a party or anything like that. I like organising things for other people but I loathe being the centre of attention. Its very un-Leo of me, but there you have it.

And I am no closer to fulfilling my New Years Resolution of knitting a pair of socks. I have about four balls of sock yarn now, all bought in preparation for when the sock knitting really takes off around here, any moment now, just have to knit that first pair.

The problem is that I don't like using DPN's (double pointed needles). I have tried many times, but just can't get the hang of it, I have too many elbows or something. Whenever I make a hat I use a circular and then use two circulars to decrease, so I think I need to learn how to knit socks on two circulars. There is such a thing. They have a course on it in the city, maybe I will go to that.

And then, boy oh boy, is the sock knitting really gonna take off around here, LOL.

I FINALLY came to a decision about something I have been wrestling with for about four months.

I have a pattern for a cabled hooded cardigan called The Central Park Hoodie. Its well within my capabilities I think, its just a one twist cable straightforward type thing, and I decided to knit it in Rustic 12 ply from Bendigo Woollen Mills.

I was tossing up the colour. I love pink, I wear a lot of pink and there is a pink shade called Wineberry. I looked on Ravelry and there aren't many projects in this colour. I thought maybe it was a bit 'too' pink. But I do love pink, I like knitting with it and I like wearing it and I think that would encourage me to finish it.

I have the shade card from the company and I would look at it at least once a week trying to decide if I should go for it.

But then there is 'Damson' which is a deep purple. I have been in a purple mood for ages and ages. There is another Central Park Hoodie on there in that colour and its beautiful. Very practical.

So, dilemma dilemma. I thought I 'should' order the Damson, but I really 'wanted' to order the Wineberry.

Now, I know you think I am going to say that I ordered both, but I didn't. NO.

I ordered the Wineberry.

Thank god that decision has been made. My life is so stressful, tee hee.

Speaking of stress, I thought Baden had done a poo on the floor before, the light in here isn't good and I looked down and saw a brown mass on the floor. He was having some nappy free time and I just thought the worst had happened. My heart skipped a beat. I said to him, "oh Baden did you do a poo on the floor?" and he goes "no. Baden did a wee".

I said with quite a bit of relief "Did you do a wee on the floor?" and he goes "No, did wee in the toilet".

Oh. Good!

I looked again and it was his brown plastic dinosaur I was looking at on the floor.

I am getting old.

I haven't written for a couple of weeks because I have been quite busy and also feeling a little under the weather.

We had a nice visit from Grandpa. Baden is still talking about him. It was nice to see them together. It's funny how kids have a default setting for some people, but Grandpa does send him letters with photos so he is quite familiar with who he is, (well actually Carol writes them and sends them!).

Apart from that I have still been going to TAFE and am thoroughly disillusioned by it. It's such a snail's pace and I like to learn fast. I can't stand it and I seem to have lost my momentum completely and have just sort of lost interest in the whole thing. Even the web design class - it's only one morning a week and the pace is just too slow. I got 99% on a test last week but I still don't really feel like I am learning much. I have dropped one class already because it was boring and I couldn't stand the teacher, and the other classes are so stupid. One class is all about how to get a job and the other one is learning Microsoft Word etc at a snail's pace where most of the class plays Halo and the teacher doesn't even realise. I go to that class once every three weeks or so.

So I feel a bit stuck at the moment, not sure what to do next. The course was supposed to be so I could work from home and/or get a really good job when I was ready to go back, but I haven't learnt a thing. So...dunno know where to from here.

I have been doing a bit of knitting, not much, just another jumper for Baden, without a pattern. I don't need a pattern anymore, its a simple formula and I have done enough of them now. I got a beautiful care package from a friend last week because I was feeling down in the dumps. It was New Zealand chocolate and some beautiful yarn, bamboo merino mix in a deep purple shade. I was very excited to receive it and have big plans for it. I have perked up a bit now.

Baden has a game that he plays where he puts his hands under your hands then flicks them up and yells "puppapoo" or something like that. I keep forgetting to ask his preschool what the hell he is saying, I presume its something from there. Its hilarious. He does it over and over and we still haven't figured out what he is saying. Steve plays it and just yells "puppapoo!" along with him and Baden screeches with laughter, its so cute.

He is so adorable, he comes up and gives me kisses and cuddles and says "hello mummy" with such tenderness in his voice, its so beautiful. The other day he was in the bath and I stepped out to get his towel and he yelled that he wanted to get out because he could hear the music to Playschool on TV, he was yelling "Mummy, want get out, watch paygool!".

LOL, all these things I will remember when he is older. They are such precious moments.