It has recently occurred to me that I am not as bitchy as some people. Now, I know this sounds a bit strange, but hear me out. I was brought up in a very critical household and part of my self-perception was that I was a bit of a bitch.

But its becoming obvious that this isn't exactly true. I think the person saying it has a lot of answer for actually.

I notice that quite a few people have a habit of backstabbing other people, it's just a habit, its what they do, as regularly and naturally as eating breakfast or breathing. They just do it as a matter of course. And its not even about people who they don't like, its just about everyone they come into contact with.

I don't do this. I am not really a backstabber at all. I always say its because I can't be bothered or because I am more interested in talking about myself, but that's not exactly true either. (That's just me being self deprecating). I just don't do it because its not a very nice thing to do, and I don't really understand why other people do it. Unless its someone who they don't like and who they are horrible to face to face. I understand that, I do that!

But I never do it to people who are supposed to be my friends. If you are friends with me I don't backstab you. You can take that to the bank. It doesn't happen.I don't think I could do that, because then I would feel so dishonest when we met up again and I had to look you in the eye. I am way too honest for that. I probably talk about you, I probably talk about you a lot, and tell people funny or interesting or amazing things you have said or done. I chat about your family and your hobbies and your life. But I mean in a good way. I say nice things about you. Because if you are someone I call 'friend' its because I am proud to know you and I want other people to know you and like you too!

Yesterday I was sitting next to a couple of people who basically made derogatory comments about what someone else was saying at the other end of the table. Every time this poor woman said something these people would answer so sweetly and then mutter mutter mutter, derogatory and ridiculing statements.

Why do people do this? I don't understand it at all? Don't they feel .... yuck?

I would.

Its awful when you know that people do it too. You know that as soon as you walk away they are going to start on you. Ick. I hate that. It's such an uncomfortable feeling.

Everyone's different I suppose. I am not perfect, I have heaps of faults, but I am so glad that I can honestly say that being two-faced isn't one of them.